Kategorie: Balanced life

Chocolate and its dark side

Chocolate in all combinations and tasts smile at you from every supermarket. But the sweet seduction also has its dark side. I’m not talking about dark chocolate, but about what researchers have recently discovered.

 In a study of 1018 adults (694 men and 324 women) from San Diego, California, without diabetes or known coronary artery disease was studied in a cross-sectional analysis, wanted to find out whether depressive or depressive-prone people have an increased consumption of chocolate.

This was indeed proven. The higher the score for depression, the higher the chocolate consumption.

It is still unclear whether chocolate triggers depression or whether depression causes more chocolate to be eaten in order to activate serotonin production.

 It’s just like Paracelsus said: „All things are poisons, for there is nothing without poisonous qualities. It is only the dose which makes a thing poison.“

Positive Psychologe: For the future we need courage!

Courage with which it is possible for us to overcome our fear, to be able to go new ways, to trust ourselves, to overcome our own limits, to live our own convictions, to be authentic, to master life, to grow personally, in short, to live in our personal courage zone.

 Courage is something different for everyone.

It means taking a risk to achieve a goal that is valuable to oneself. Therefor the proportionality plays an important role.

The relative proportionality of the risk compared to the value of the goal is based on the subjective assessment of the person taking or observing the action. Actions that are considered courageous by all are usually those where everyone agrees that the risk is significant, and the goal is valuable.

 Courage plays a special role in times of crisis or challenging situations to overcome them.

 If you like to reflect what the meaning of courage is to you, feel free to use the thought flower.

Positive Psychology: Power of Gratitude

To work in harmonious and force human flourishing you should be grateful and demonstrate gratitude to reach this aim. This is scientifically proven.

In order to get a positive emotional reaction to one’s own behaviour, it is necessary to promote goodness in itself through gratitude in and towards oneself.

Gratitude is well proven in many studies that this is beneficial for your well-being in the psychology, physical and spiritual level. Gratitude supports you to have in orientation in your life it lowers the stress level and increase the positive emotions, and through gratitude social relationship will flourish and maintain.

With your appreciation you support the interrelationship between each other.

Studies shows that gratitude helps you to overcome critical situations in live and see the tragic in your life with more distance.

Like Solomon a lecturer on Søren Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sartre and other said in the Oxford University press 20002:

Gratitude, I want to suggest, is not only the best answer to the tragedies of life. It is the best approach to life itself.

Mindful or mind full

The definition of mindfulness from Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of it, is:

 ”Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non judgmentally; knowing what you are doing while you are doing.”

 During vacation it´s easier to be mindful with our selves.

  • We relax and calm down (e.g. enjoying the sun)
  • We are more curious and try to discover new things (e.g. visiting museums)
  • We are more present (e.g. hiking in the nature)
  • We are open for new perspectives (e.g. travelling to new districts / counties)

 This effect we can reinforce, through:

  1. Try something new
  2. Get out from behind the camera – be present
  3. Play
  4. Practice gratitude every single day
  5. Do less
  6. Enjoy process, not just the outcome
  7. Step away from electronics
  8. Take the opportunity to really connect with others
  9. Spend some time alone

 I´m curious to learn from you:

What are you doing during your tome off to relax and calm down?

How do you practice mindfulness during your vacation?

What are your secrets and recommendation to come relaxed back from vacation to work?

Study: Gender difference in building self-confidence

In an 2020 IFD Allensbach study (IfD – Institut für Demoskopie Allensbach (IfD) (ifd-allensbach.de)), 800 women and 800 men were asked: „What people draw their self-confidence from varies greatly. According to your observations, what does it particularly depend on whether women / men are self-confident? What from this list is particularly important?“

On top one for men was „success at work“ with 82% builds their confidence, followed by „finances“ at 77%. On top one for women was „popularity“ with 74% builds their confidence, followed by „good looks“ 72% Women answered only 66% that „success at work“ is important to their confidence.

Men want almost equal amounts of „recognition from women“ (51%) and „recognition from men“ (45%). Women voted differently in terms of gender. „Recognition from men“ supports self-confidence more (45%) than from „recognition from women“ only with (29%).

One assumption of the last fact could be that gender equivalence is more ingrained in the minds of men than in the minds of women. Women seem to value the recognition of men more than that of women (maybe this is just a wrong interpretation of a statistic 😉 ).

What is your opinion on this interesting fact?

Of meaningfull importance for learning and improvement: Reflection

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” – Margaret J. Wheatley

This quote of Margaret J. Whealtey is fantastic as it brings it to the point. To learn from others around you, your circumstances your are in and from your self to become your better self reflection is more than important and needed.

But how reflection could be easy mastered in the full days we are facing with. Here are some thoughts and tipps for this:

Helpfull is to go through these four steps, which you can see in the picture:

1. Step: Observe

the situation in a retrospective or during the situation from the metaperspective

2. Step: Reflect

with the following questions:

a. What?

This question focus on the past. (e.g., What in detail had happened? What are the facts?)

b. So what?

This question focus on the present (e.g., What I have learned? What is my conclusion?

c. Now what?

This question focus on the future. (e.g., What I will change or retain in the future? What direction I will follow?)

3. Step: Plan

the steps and think in small nuggets (KISS = Keep it short and simple) which is really feasible. To make it easy you can follow these Acronyms:

4. Step: Act

following your plan. This is the most difficult step as the new way of interaction is new and unusual to this. The first times it will feel foreign and perhaps a bit threatening. It is like jumping the first time from three-meter diving tower. During the jump you sometimes regret it to have been jumped. But when you have landed save down in the water, you feel proud and happy.

For your reflection you need:

  • Time and space
  • A good environment with a positive atmosphere
  • Emotional supportive environment

Spiral dynamics: Motives as basic of our behaviour and success in the VUCA world

n communication, it is a challenge to be seen and recognized as a partner. Conversations at eye level /as peers are a challenge, when different ways of thinking meet. Flexible thinking would be helpful in such moments. This requires a different attitude as well as a different level of consciousness than exists mainly in the Western world.

Clare C. Graves, evidenced by Don Beck and Chris Cowan, has found different levels of consciousness, which she distinguishes into eight different levels of existence with different patterns of thinking. These thought patterns are based on the motives that drive them. She called this Spiral Dynamics.

Most people in the Western world belong to the first levels / graves (Graves, C. W. (1974). Human Nature Prepares for a Momentous Leap. The Futurist, 72-87.). What they have in common is an egocentric attitude.

The levels of existence, also called Spiral Dynamics. The eight levels / graves are colour coded. They are referred to as WMem. WMem is defined as follows: „A WMem is expressed in a world-view, a value system, a psychological level of existence, a belief structure, an organizational principle, a way of thinking and living“ (Beck and Cowan, 2008, p. 64).

In addition, authors Don Edward Beck and Christopher C. Cowan distinguish between first and second Tier thinking. People with a first Tier mindset usually behave in an ego-driven manner with the main question in mind: „What is the benefit for me? What’s in it for me?“ The first Tier includes five different graves of consciousness with the colours beige, purple, red, blue and orange.

The basic motifs and world-view of the first Tier are:

– Physiological stability (beige),

– Security (purple),

– Domination and power (red),

– Sense and order (blue),

– Autonomy and manipulation (orange),

– Equality and community (green)

The second Tier includes two different graves of consciousness. The second Tier world-view enables the person to respond flexibly to change, to take interconnected, comprehensive perspectives, and to recognize the dynamics of the whole earth, enabling macro-level action. This mindset is consistent with ecosystem and empathic relationship. People with the second Tier mindset tend to behave in an eco-oriented way, asking the most important questions, The questions in their mind are: „What is the benefit of the system in which I am involved? What is the bigger picture and impact on the earth / my environment?“ This second Tier includes two different consciousnesses with the colours yellow and turquoise.

The basic motifs and world-views of the second Tier are:  

– Flexibility and natural flow (yellow),

– Life and harmony (turquoise)

Most people are mixed types with different degrees of expression of the first or second level.

The transition from the first to the second level is crucial for the transition from ego-system to eco-system, which is necessary in the VUCA world (Voluntil, Uncertain, Complex, Ambigue) and to evolve to a „Learning Organisation“.

Because of the attitude and mindset of flexibility and harmony, there are no biases, prejudices, or other hierarchical challenges to overcome. The focus is on solving a problem together and developing a process, not on who gets the credit.

How to show appreciation, our quiet power?

Appreciation of a person is always focusing on personal behavior. It has nothing to do with performance or success. Appreciation is close looking at the individual nature character in each of us. Appreciation only works when other elements of the interaction are already done. 

  1. You need to have shown attention for the whole situation where the person you want to appreciate is in; 
  2. This only works when you are in the moment and mindful in the situation. 
  3. Towards the individuum to show respect and personal attention is needed. 
  4. Then acknowledgement for the performance or success, which mean for the results of the behavior is needed. 
  5. Only with this previous elements appreciation will work, as the appreciation taker find the apprechiative words natural and creates not the feeling that the apprechiation is used for the sace of a (hidden) goal.

(inspired by: Das Wunder der Wertschätzung from Dr. Reinhard Haller)

Appreciation does not need grand gestures or materialistic things. Like wild-flowers, appreciation is fragile and small, but strong. They need only a few nutrients, to develop to the whole power. Wild-flowers can penetrate and destroy concrete. Honest and genuine appreciation can have a similar effect and create a blossom relationships, which leads to trust.

How do I show appreciation in everyday life?

  • Appreciative look at eye level.
  • Interested listening.
  • Benevolent nod of the head.
  • Sympathetic smile.
  • Discreet pat on the back.
  • Curious question.
  • Small surprise.
  • Short e-mail with thanks or congratulations.
  • Request for advice.

What are your little things you show your appreciation to people surrounding you?

Thoughts about: Is knowledge power?

Francis Bacon (1561 – 1626) said: „Knowledge is power.“

Does education equal power, or is knowledge enough to be powerful? That would be in my eyes too short-sighted.

Knowledge supports the expression of one’s own opinion, which is freedom and a fundamental right in Germany.

Does expressing an informed opinion actually lead to more power?

In the VUCA world, knowledge is more accessible than in the time of Francis Bacon. Anyone can acquire knowledge, so titles or positions do not necessarily mean that there is more knowledge in specific areas than in hierarchically lower positions or less status.

So knowledge is not the same as power. Knowledge enables people to change things, to innovate, but it is not identical with the ability to gain power. Therefore other abilities of character are necessary.

Here are a few thoughts about „Knowledge is power“.

  1. Does knowledge mean knowing the truth? What is truth? We construct our own truth, knowledge is interpreted differently, which is why only an approximation to the truth is possible, if it exists at all.
  2. What does general knowledge mean? Who has determined what we mean by general knowledge? General knowledge is taught at school, the basis comes from Humboldt in the 19th century. Is this still up to date and contemporary? Is general education sufficient to prepare for the VUCA world? Who knows which knowledge is really useful to find one’s way in life?
  3. How does knowledge help to find one’s way in life? We all know it, we plan our life and then something comes up, and we have to change our goals. Broad-based knowledge helps us to act flexibly and to find our way in the VUCA world. One-sided knowledge can lead to a lack of flexibility, and unforeseen events can throw you off track.
  4. Does science lead to becoming wiser? Science and knowledge are challenging to define. Philosophers suggest that despite knowledge, we do not become wiser, but only refine our view of the world until intractable situations arise that require a new world-view.

(To read more about this, please visit: Wer viel weiß, hat viel zu sagen – ist Wissen Macht? (uni.de))

Knowledge does not equal power, but it makes the knower powerful. Knowledge makes it possible to understand things and to recognize connections. It can support going new ways, developing ideas and discovering one’s own life path/passion. It can also lead to other people not being able to understand connections that are clearly recognizable to the knower, and this then leads to discomfort or can be interpreted as a threat. Knowledge can lead to power or be seen as disturbing.