Schlagwort: mindset

Value of emptiness

Imagine that all the cups in your cupboard are already full. Each cup represents a specific drink. Whenever you take out the long, red cup, it contains grape juice. The long, red cup is conditioned with the taste of grape juice.

Imagine the same experience happening from year to year. One day, someone mixes in grapefruit juice. Do you think you would be able to taste it?

If you believe the conditioning, this will not happen. You will taste grape juice again and not the mixture of grape- and grapefruit juice. It will be the same as always. Your brain will not notice the slight difference.

Something similar happens to people. They always seem to be the same. What is forgotten is that every person develops, learns, begins to think and act regarding to different perspectives, and forgets others behaviours or thoughts. If we are allowed to accompany a person for a longer period, we notice the changes less. If we don’t see this person for a long time and meet the person again, we expect to meet the same person as we know from „before“. We look for behaviours that are very familiar to us to confirm that it is still the same as „before“. We overlook the grapefruit note, as the person may have aged but is not the same.

To recognize the grapefruit, mindfulness is a good solution. This means just being in the moment, without judgment or interpretation.

According to Bruce Lee: “ In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all of your preconceived fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful? Because it is empty.“ (Bruce Lee, John Little: Bruce Lee´s Striking Thoughts, Wisdom for daily living; Publisher Tuttle; 20002, s. 30)

In this way you also have the freedom to pour wine into the cup. This enriches your experience and the joy of diversity.

Mindful or mind full

The definition of mindfulness from Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of it, is:

 ”Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non judgmentally; knowing what you are doing while you are doing.”

 During vacation it´s easier to be mindful with our selves.

  • We relax and calm down (e.g. enjoying the sun)
  • We are more curious and try to discover new things (e.g. visiting museums)
  • We are more present (e.g. hiking in the nature)
  • We are open for new perspectives (e.g. travelling to new districts / counties)

 This effect we can reinforce, through:

  1. Try something new
  2. Get out from behind the camera – be present
  3. Play
  4. Practice gratitude every single day
  5. Do less
  6. Enjoy process, not just the outcome
  7. Step away from electronics
  8. Take the opportunity to really connect with others
  9. Spend some time alone

 I´m curious to learn from you:

What are you doing during your tome off to relax and calm down?

How do you practice mindfulness during your vacation?

What are your secrets and recommendation to come relaxed back from vacation to work?

The power of feedforward

Employees are familiar with the construct of feedback, developed with good intentions, but not always used with them.

Some of you may have experienced feedback being misused to express opinions, assumptions and prejudices about the feedback recipient. The feedback giver tends to project their own behaviour, or the behaviour they are forbidden, unwilling or unable to see, onto the feedback recipient. Even if the feedback is given with good intentions on the part of the feedback giver, the issue is that we are talking about the past. This in turn reinforces the image that the subconscious mind has created of the feedback giver towards the feedback receiver. Which leads to a „vicious circle“ as the feedback giver wants to have his perception confirmed and only perceives the nuances of the feedback receiver that fit the perception of the feedback giver and wants to perceive.

One hurdle is that, I suppose, none of us has a time machine, to change the past. The other hurdle is that sometimes feedback comes as a real surprise to the feedback receiver, who has already forgotten the situation or behaviour to which the feedback giver is referring. Memories are never identical or logical. This leads to the uncomfortable and sometimes helpless feeling when we have to go to a feedback meeting. Perhaps there is a satisfaction in the feedback giver telling a person ‚the truth‘, forgetting that this is only the individual perception. As each of us constructs our own truth/reality based on the experiences we have had. 

To be more effective, efficient and sustainable, and to create team power, we need to reflect on our behaviour and attitudes before we follow up with actions or conversations. This is why Marshall Goldsmith’s ‚feedforward‚ approach is so powerful in making a real difference. In this setting, feedforward givers and takers focus on the future and suggest strategies for a better future, without focusing on the past, which only serves to consolidate. 

The following brings the difference between feedforward and feedback to the point:

Feedforward helps to understand before the activity what is expected, how one should behave and interact. Through such reflection it is clear what is required of each individual in order to achieve the goal and a change in behavior is possible as it comes from oneself.

Feedback provides insight into how the external view on a person is, regarding the interaction and behaviour towards others. This creates awareness, but often comes too late or can come from a person whom the feedback recipient does not trust. In addition, an imbalance can arise, since mostly only the perception of the feedback provider is heard.

Feedforward entails three key elements:

  1. Both must adopt a benevolent inner attitude and mindset: The attitude is like an inner voice. If we take the view that our opinion is the only right one and must be followed, then feedforward will not work. However, if we are open to the opinions of others in order to achieve a common goal together, then feedforward is an effective method. Feedforward ensures that all ideas are heard and that the goal is pursued with passion by all, because both parties feel accepted and valued. 
  2. Focus on the solution rather than the problem: To support this thinking, it would be helpful to eliminate the question word „why“ as it leads back to the past and not to the future. Instead, it would be better to use the question word „what“ to find a future solution. This is proven by Tasha Eurich in her studies on self-awareness. In combination with Prof. Dr. Otto Scharmer’s Theory U of intensive listening and imagining the future together (Presensing), leads to open up the mind and uncover opportunities for a better future.
  3. Developing specific solutions together: This is a resource-oriented method and looks at existing competencies and how they can be supported.

Idea for feedforward, when you feel safe:

  1. Describe your goal clearly and simply
  2. Ask for two suggestions and support creative ideas
  3. Listen carefully and write down the suggestions
  4. Just thank you without apology or defensiveness
  5. Roles are swapped regardless of hierarchy
  6. In larger groups, a new conversation partner is sought and the procedure is repeated

#feedback #feedforward #mindset #TheoryU #Selfawareness #unconciousness #psychologicalsafe #success

Spiral dynamics: Motives as basic of our behaviour and success in the VUCA world

n communication, it is a challenge to be seen and recognized as a partner. Conversations at eye level /as peers are a challenge, when different ways of thinking meet. Flexible thinking would be helpful in such moments. This requires a different attitude as well as a different level of consciousness than exists mainly in the Western world.

Clare C. Graves, evidenced by Don Beck and Chris Cowan, has found different levels of consciousness, which she distinguishes into eight different levels of existence with different patterns of thinking. These thought patterns are based on the motives that drive them. She called this Spiral Dynamics.

Most people in the Western world belong to the first levels / graves (Graves, C. W. (1974). Human Nature Prepares for a Momentous Leap. The Futurist, 72-87.). What they have in common is an egocentric attitude.

The levels of existence, also called Spiral Dynamics. The eight levels / graves are colour coded. They are referred to as WMem. WMem is defined as follows: „A WMem is expressed in a world-view, a value system, a psychological level of existence, a belief structure, an organizational principle, a way of thinking and living“ (Beck and Cowan, 2008, p. 64).

In addition, authors Don Edward Beck and Christopher C. Cowan distinguish between first and second Tier thinking. People with a first Tier mindset usually behave in an ego-driven manner with the main question in mind: „What is the benefit for me? What’s in it for me?“ The first Tier includes five different graves of consciousness with the colours beige, purple, red, blue and orange.

The basic motifs and world-view of the first Tier are:

– Physiological stability (beige),

– Security (purple),

– Domination and power (red),

– Sense and order (blue),

– Autonomy and manipulation (orange),

– Equality and community (green)

The second Tier includes two different graves of consciousness. The second Tier world-view enables the person to respond flexibly to change, to take interconnected, comprehensive perspectives, and to recognize the dynamics of the whole earth, enabling macro-level action. This mindset is consistent with ecosystem and empathic relationship. People with the second Tier mindset tend to behave in an eco-oriented way, asking the most important questions, The questions in their mind are: „What is the benefit of the system in which I am involved? What is the bigger picture and impact on the earth / my environment?“ This second Tier includes two different consciousnesses with the colours yellow and turquoise.

The basic motifs and world-views of the second Tier are:  

– Flexibility and natural flow (yellow),

– Life and harmony (turquoise)

Most people are mixed types with different degrees of expression of the first or second level.

The transition from the first to the second level is crucial for the transition from ego-system to eco-system, which is necessary in the VUCA world (Voluntil, Uncertain, Complex, Ambigue) and to evolve to a „Learning Organisation“.

Because of the attitude and mindset of flexibility and harmony, there are no biases, prejudices, or other hierarchical challenges to overcome. The focus is on solving a problem together and developing a process, not on who gets the credit.

Two sides of feedback

Feedback is the result of the comparison between the target and actual state by a second person.

If the assessment of the state between actual and target is the same in the eyes of the second person, then the feedback is positive. The feedback recipient receives recognition and appreciation. The difference is that recognition refers to performance and appreciation refers to personality.

If the target and actual state do not match on the part of the feedback giver, the feedback receiver is criticized. We can learn from both. From the positive perceived feedback, we learn to conform.

From the negative perceived feedback, the criticism, we can learn where a second person sees improvements for us. Studies have shown that negative feedback, criticism, can lead to improved performance (Kluger & DeNisi 1996).

With any feedback, it is important to understand that the source of the feedback is the second person and their own construct.

If the feedback is given with good intentions and no hidden agenda, it is a fantastic resource for the feedback receiver to learn from.

However, feedback can also be part of:

  • Instrumentalization in the form of manipulation techniques, such as false compliments or in the worst case with the intention of humiliation.
  • Projection of one’s own behaviour, this happens unconsciously, the feedback giver’s own behaviour is transferred to the feedback receiver.

Examine the mindset with which feedback is given and consider whether you can learn from it or whether it is done in an instrumentalized way. 

In this way, the feedback receiver has the chance to learn twice:

  1. About the self: How others, especially the feedback givers, observe and evaluate feedback receiver own behaviour.
  2. About the feedback giver: With the feedback, the construct of the feedback giver will be uncovered.

For further information read this article Valence of feedback (positive vs. negative feedback)

The „Diamond of life-span“

Different studies have shown that it is possible to live a better life in old age.

Various aspects and actions, as well as collaborative relationships between people, increase well-being and positive mindset in old age. These found patterns are called the relationship matrix.

The four pillar of the relationship matrix are from each other dependent. All together are called „the diamonds of life-span“.

These pillars of „the diamond of life-span“ are:

  1. Relationship resources: Neighbors, friends, acquaintances, positive people of the past, where dialogs are still happened in the mind, belong to this group.
  2. Personal health / well-being: this are the medical standards and the personal view on the own health.
  3. Positive mindset: The individual happiness, optimism and well being of the own life
  4. Activity: The active participation on mental and body activities

These four pillars influence each other and interact with each other.

Here are some influences of the relationships, which are through research proven:

Relationship resources <=> personal health / well-being

People with good relationship are active together, caring for each other. Studies showed that recovery from a mental or physical illness are faster when strong positive emotional relationship are there. People are more willingly to go to physician, when a partner is on their side. To make new acquaintances happens easier when you feel healthy.

Relationship resources <=> positive mindset

Positive relationships build self-confidence and support to build meaningful goals as well give solace in heavy times. Positive attitude towards life and your self leads to more empathy, love, friendliness, and indulgence. This together improves and deepen relationship.

Positive mindset <=> activity

Positive mindset leads to trust and optimism. Activities leads to positive memories and happier feelings. Activities is in relation to satisfaction

Positive mindset <=> personal health / well-being

Researcher is convinced that positive mindset leads to personal health and well-being. In a nun study researcher found that positive emotions written in a youth diary leads to an older age. Nuns which express fewer positive emotions in the youth died to 54% under the age of 80. Compared with the nuns with positive emotions in their diary only 24% died under 80

Personal health / well-being <-> activity

Personal health enables more activity, and more activity leads to better health.

Relationship resources <-> activity

Relationship invites to more activities. This extent the own interests and creates curiosity. An active live lead to more social activities and supports in this way the relationship.

Looking at the four pillars the most important of this is the relationship to others, as this is the source for well-being and a healthy aging.

Let this diamond shine over your lifespan.

To read more about it, klick here