Kategorie: General

Eine Geschichte, die zur Selbstreflexion der eigenen Haltung einlädt

Bei James geht es um die Perspektive des Sklaven Jim, der sich in den selbstbewussten und willensstarken James verwandelt. Jim ist die Koseform von James. Allein durch die „gefühlte“ Namensänderung, wird die Wandlung des harmlosen, etwas stupiden Sklaven zum freien, intelligenten Mann deutlich.

Die Geschichte ist angelehnt an Mark Twains „Tom Sawyer und Huckleberry Finn“ Geschichte. James soll von seiner Familie getrennt werden und flieht, um so nach seinem Plan, dann sie freikaufen zu können. Der Leser wird entführt, die Ungerechtigkeit und Willkür der weißen Sklavenhalter zu erleben und die damaligen Schutzmechanismen der afroamerikanischen Bevölkerung zu erkennen. Eine Überlebensstrategie war sich, mit Absicht dümmer zu stellen, als man ist und unterwürfig zu zeigen. Um dieses Verhalten durchhalten zu können, entwickeln die amerikanischen Sklaven Satire und Slapstick, das von der weißen Bevölkerung als Eigenart von Sklaven einsortiert wird, da diese nichts anderes sind als „menschenähnliche Wesen.“

Das Buch hat mich gefesselt und durch die Szenen der Ungerechtigkeit und der Schutzmechanismen der unterworfenen, ausgebeuteten Sklaven zum Nachdenken gebracht. Die Wandlung von Jim in James ist sehr gelungen. Von einem gefügigen, akzeptierenden Sklaven, der bisher nur innerlich revolutionierte in einen selbstbewussten, kritischen und handlungsbereiten freien Mann ist erstaunlich gut gelungen. Die Deutlichkeit, in der die Schutzmechanismen der Sklaven dargestellt werden, ist plastisch und klar. Allerdings zu Beginn etwas irritierend. Spannend fand ich die unterschiedlichen Haltungen zu den Sklavereien sowohl von Seiten der Sklaven als auch von Seiten der Sklavenhalter. Dies ist meiner Meinung nach fantastisch gelungen. Ebenso wird angedeutet, wie ein plötzlicher „Sklaven-Besitz“ die Haltung und Einstellung ändern kann und eine Wandlung zum Freidenker in einen Besitz-Denkenden vollzieht. Etwas holperig fand ich die später herausgearbeitete Beziehung zu Huckleberry Finn, was aber dem Buch keinen Abbruch tut und eine weitere Fassette ergänzt, über die in Geschichtsbüchern eher kaum etwas zu finden sein wird.

Vieles davon ist übertragbar auf unsere eigene Haltung im Alltag, auf unsere Denkweise gegenüber anderen Nationen und Bevölkerungsgruppen. Wozu wollen wir gehören, zu den Menschen, die sich erheben oder zu denen, die Menschen als Menschen sehen, egal, wer sie sind und woher sie kommen? Es war für mich eine fantastische Grundlage, über meine eigenen Vorurteile nachzudenken. Die Geschichte zeigt auch, dass jeder von uns nur das wahrnimmt, was er wahrnehmen möchte.

What we think matters

Last week’s quote was from Andrew Carnegie. He said: „Remember, happiness does not depend on what you are or what you have, it depends on what you think.“

Andrew Carnegie was one of the richest people of his time. He certainly had few money worries and was able to occupy himself with other matters than meeting his basic needs. He was certainly respected and socialised with the most influential people of his time. He himself emigrated to the USA with his family as a child, as his father, a weaver in Scotland, had less and less to do due to industrialisation.

Carnegie got to know all kinds of personalities in his life, from ordinary people to aristocrats and high-ranking personalities. This enabled him to compare the different cultures and milieus. That’s why I find this quote so fantastic. He learnt the intrinsic value, in my interpretation, of the people who surrounded him. This led him to the conclusion that thinking, i.e. the inner processes of being, are more important than external factors such as status, rank and hierarchies.

Carnegie recognised that the only thing that counts is the inner world of the individual. Because what we think is visible in our attitude and this in turn determines our actions.

Our thoughts lead us to attract people into our lives who think similarly, as they have a similar attitude and their actions are similar. Through our thoughts, we have the power to be who we want to be and thus attract those we want to surround ourselves with.

Life goal: Reach your own inner summit

The quote of the last week from my calendar is from Edmund Hillary: „It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.“

This reminded me of many hikes and some climbing routes that I have done in the past and will probably do in the future. I like to hike, even cross-country, as long as it’s allowed. The hikes that I personally found the most enjoyable were the ones where I had to force myself to keep going. Either because my body thought it can’t take any more, even though there were only a few hundred metres to go to reach the destination, the weather conditions were extreme, such as hiking at minus 20 degrees in the Elbe Sandstone Mountains, or hikes where I overcame my fear of heights, such as the climbing trail we took to the summit in Schladming.

Each time I overcame a fear, a limit within myself, and had a wonderful feeling after I had made it. Maybe my knees were still shaking a little, or I had unspeakable sore muscles the next day, but conquering myself brought me feelings of pride, confidence and self-assurance. The belief in the sentence „I can do it if I believe in myself, want to achieve it and have (trained) the skills to do so.“ In the context of others, the following dimension of what is allowed and desired in order to reach the set goal, the mountain top, also belongs.

This corresponds to Lutz von Rosenstiel’s behavioural model. (source: Rosenstiel, L. von 1998). Wertewandel und Kooperation. In E. Spieß (Hrsg.), Formen der Kooperation. Bedingungen und Perspektiven (S. 279-294). Göttingen: Verlag für angewandte Psychologie)

The model states that behaviour is influenced by:

  1. Individual volition, such as motivation and personal values,

  2. Social permissions and requirements, such as the norms and rules of the context/environment in which we find ourselves

  3. Situational facilitation, i.e. the conditions that can be conducive or inhibiting

  4. Personal ability, which includes skills and abilities. The four factors influence each other and together form the behaviour shown.

We conquer ourselves when we consider whether we want to try something different that we haven’t tried before, acquire the missing skills, abilities, and then actually put them into practice.

It doesn’t have to be a mountain. It could be also learning to play a musical instrument and then giving a concert, trying out a new sport in a competition or climbing a mountain summit.

Good is the better perfect

In my diary this week was the following quote from John Steinbeck: „And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.“ This quote got me thinking for a longer time. What is perfect? Who decides whether someone is perfect? As we all construct the world, which means we all interpret situations according to our experiences and memories, everyone would understand something different by perfect.

For example, an apple is perfect for one person if it is flawless and green. For another, an apple is perfect if it has red cheeks and a third finds the apple perfect if it has small spots, as it is then organic and natural.

How can there be, or is there, objective perfection at all? Is it perfection when everything is organised and straightforward? Isn’t chaos, the dynamic, what we need to bring change? Perfection cannot exist, because it is subjective and certainly not dynamic and therefore enable no changes. Being perfect means standing still. As the definition of perfect lies in the eyes oft he observer, the self must adapt and change in such a way that the observer can recognise perfection. This means the price of perfection is to mirrow the expectation of others and not to be yourself.

In my opinion, the solution lies in the second part of the quote: „You can be good.“ Since it is not possible to be perfect without losing yourself, each of us can try to be our own better self. The perfect lies hidden in the imperfect within ourselves. What we can do is to give our best every day by being mindful in the moment and always trying to activate the good that lies within each of us in the here and now. We can always dare and try to be the best and good version of ourselves. This requires a lot of courage, because the authentic self is much more vulnerable than an artificial self that changes in order to meet and fulfil the demands of the other person. So that the other person can recognise the perfect self that they have defined.

We should agree that being good is better and more dynamic than being perfect and is therefore much more promising for our self and our own growth.

What is your opinion?

Follow your path and listen to others and reflect

The weekly quote in my diary this week comes from Dante Alighieri: „Where the way is hardest, there go thou; Follow your own path and let people talk.“

It sounds so simple, but in my opinion it harbours many challenges.

The two challenges that I can recognise are

1. I agree to the quote in some esteem, as the other alternative is to get lost of your self. As then, you are simply not thinking about what is right, simply not forming your own opinion and disagree to the „stronger“ may make life easier. Through this behaviour, you can let your own life „ripple along“. It is then comparable to a stream that flows quietly but receives little attention. Walking your own path means giving it some thought, even bumping into things and perhaps feeling how others put their heads together when you walk past, and feeling sceptical glances. On the other hand, your own life is turbulent and more like a white-water river with bends and some unforeseen currents. Others will try to divert the river or slow it down, but the current is too strong.

2. Following your own path without considering the opinions and perhaps feelings of others. No matter how difficult the situation is, it can also make you lonely. It can also lead to self-centredness, as you only pursue yourself and your goal and turn people against you. It can also happen that you pursue your goal so much that you overlook the beauty around you or can no longer recognise the helping hands. Metaphorically speaking, the behaviour could resemble a raging waterfall. It is hardly possible for other larger life to survive in the falling water. The water rushes down indefinitely and has such a strong force that it could shatter boats on impact.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to a happy medium. We are all social beings. Finding your own path and following it, especially in difficult times, staying true to yourself is certainly important in order to be able to look yourself in the mirror day after day and also to be able to develop and grow. But walking this path in a mindful, non-judgemental and open attitude helps us to remain considerate. In this way, we can continue to see other needs without submitting or surrendering to them. In this way, we remain true to our values and will find a solution together with the people around us.

To stay with the image of the river, it is as if rivers flow together and then separate again. Every river has its own riverbed, but occasionally they cross.

I would modify the saying and add:

„Where the way is hardest, there go thou; go your own way meanwhile listen to people, when they talk about you. Reflect on what you have heard and adapt your chosen path, if it makes sense to you, without completely abandoning or giving up on your path.“

Reflection: Value of things

This week, I found a quote from Moliere in my desk calendar: „Things are only worth what you make of them.“

In parallel, my son has been learning about the Incas and the Spanish conquistador.

Historical background Destruction of the Inca Empire:

The monk Victor Valverde beginning the 16th century held a cross in his left hand and a Bible in his right. He approached Atahualpa, the king of the Incas, and asked him to submit. He explained that he wanted to proclaim the one true faith to him and all his „pagan“ people. Atahualpa also learnt from this monk about the Pope in faraway Rome, as God on earth. This pope, Valverde continued, had granted the Spanish king the right to rule the Americas and the peoples who inhabited them. Atahualpa rejected this and wished to remain in his faith.

The Bible given by Valverde. As the Incas found it incomprehensible and useless, Atahualpa angrily threw the Holy Scriptures of the Europeans at the monk’s feet. The Spaniards had achieved what they had set out to do. Valverde signalled the attack by saying: „Kill the heathen dogs, these godless Indians!“

The end of the Incas came only because of a different perspective of the worth of a book. Of neutrally observed, the Bible is a bunch of written papers, in this case put together around with leather. For the Spanish it was a holy sacrament, but for the Incas it was just paper of one, who wanted to under-rule them.

It’s like a loved teddy bear. To the owner it may be the most precious thing in the world, but to an outsider it’s just cloth and wool.

Value is only a matter of perspective, so we should be open to the perspectives of others.

What do you think?

Value of emptiness

Imagine that all the cups in your cupboard are already full. Each cup represents a specific drink. Whenever you take out the long, red cup, it contains grape juice. The long, red cup is conditioned with the taste of grape juice.

Imagine the same experience happening from year to year. One day, someone mixes in grapefruit juice. Do you think you would be able to taste it?

If you believe the conditioning, this will not happen. You will taste grape juice again and not the mixture of grape- and grapefruit juice. It will be the same as always. Your brain will not notice the slight difference.

Something similar happens to people. They always seem to be the same. What is forgotten is that every person develops, learns, begins to think and act regarding to different perspectives, and forgets others behaviours or thoughts. If we are allowed to accompany a person for a longer period, we notice the changes less. If we don’t see this person for a long time and meet the person again, we expect to meet the same person as we know from „before“. We look for behaviours that are very familiar to us to confirm that it is still the same as „before“. We overlook the grapefruit note, as the person may have aged but is not the same.

To recognize the grapefruit, mindfulness is a good solution. This means just being in the moment, without judgment or interpretation.

According to Bruce Lee: “ In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all of your preconceived fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful? Because it is empty.“ (Bruce Lee, John Little: Bruce Lee´s Striking Thoughts, Wisdom for daily living; Publisher Tuttle; 20002, s. 30)

In this way you also have the freedom to pour wine into the cup. This enriches your experience and the joy of diversity.

Orientation in the jungle of the finance and insurance market

The financial and insurance market is a field of its own, and nowadays you have to be an expert in it. That’s why many people look for an external expert to give them a honest recommendation tailored to their needs and goals.  Unfortunately, however, there are also advisors in this field who are more interested in a high acquisition premium than long-term customer support and care.

The interesting thing is that we are all a little biased as the finance and insurance market is often seen as a domain for men and not women. There are only 6% women in senior positions in the finance industry. Women are paid 23% less than men, the normal difference is 18% as measured in 2020 by the Federal Office Germany (Ist die Finanzbranche bis heute eine Männerdomäne? I Plutos). That’s why I think we can make a difference and find a female financial and insurance advisor.

In my past, I had a few male financial and insurance advisors, who gave me advice, which I followed. But in the end it was more for their benefit and nobody was interested in a long-term collaboration, as I realised after signing the contract. I now worked with a female financial and insurance advisor Ann-Kathrin Pögl and her behaviour was completely different. She first tried to understand my goals and my overall financial situation and then made suggestions. When I had questions after I signed my contract, she was still patient and continues to help me beyond that. She continues to support me in all matters even after the contract has been signed and helps me to find solutions or revisits the existing insurance contracts with me. She is always looking for better personalised options for me and my family.  I have been working with her for almost 3 years and I am delighted with her honesty and balanced advice. I can only recommend her.

Maybe it’s time to overcome your bias and turn to a female financial advisor like Ann-Kathrin Pögl .

VUCA way of communication

The acronym VUCA was coined by Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus in 1998.  VUCA stands for volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. My book „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen; Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“ (access 2007) shows how we can adapt out communication towards the VUCA world.

The traditional thinking of the SSEE world in communication should be changed it to a more VUCA style. SSEE stands for Stable, Secure, Easy and Explicit. Here is an overview of the changes in communication due to the easy acquisition of knowledge accessible for everyone and the rapid obsolescence of knowledge:

To understand how to have a more peer to peer conversation as equals will have, you will find many ideas and food for thoughts in my book:

S.Voss Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen 2023. XIII, 301 S. 31 Abb. Brosch. € (D) 49,99 | € (A) 51,39 | CHF 55.50 978-3-662-67787-2 € 39,99 | CHF 44.00 978-3-662-67788-9 (eBook)