Balanced life – Food for thoughts

Die Kraft des Aufmerksamen Zuhörens: Ein Weg zu Neuem und Erfolgreichem

Aufmerksames Zuhören ist eine essenzielle Komponente des Schweigens II, das notwendig ist, um Neues zu schaffen und das vorhandene Wissen sowie die Erfahrungen sinnvoll zu nutzen. Oft neigen wir dazu, aus vergangenen Erfolgen Konzepte für die Zukunft abzuleiten, doch um uns weiterzuentwickeln, müssen wir bereit sein, neue Perspektiven einzunehmen. Dies gelingt nur durch Schweigen II – der Akzeptanz des Gegenübers und dem Zuhören nach der Theory U, die den Prozess des „Letting Go“ und „Letting Come“ betont.

Im Kontext des Zuhörens IV geht es darum, unsere eigenen Interpretationen und Deutungsmuster loszulassen, um offen und ohne Ego zuzuhören. Aufmerksames Zuhören spielt hierbei eine unterstützende Rolle. Dieses Konzept lässt sich durch das Akronym AUFMERKSAM zusammenfassen:

Auf das Zuhören konzentrieren und Ablenkungen vermeiden.
Unnützes Recht haben wollen und Belehren unterbinden.
Fluss des Gesprächs folgen und nicht unterbrechen.
Möglichst offene und neugierige Fragen stellen.
Es nicht zu wissen und zuzustimmen, fördert den Dialog.
Repetitionen und Wiederholungen vermeiden.
Konstruktiv sein: Erfahrungen sind individuell und emotional einzigartig.
Sinngemäße Wiedergabe von Gerüchten und Mundpropaganda vermeiden.
Aeußerungen prägnant und auf den Punkt bringen.
Mitgebrachte Empathie als Grundlage für gute Gespräche nutzen.

Mein Appell an Sie: Lassen Sie uns die Kunst des Zuhörens aktiv praktizieren! Nehmen Sie sich Zeit, um wirklich zuzuhören und die Perspektiven anderer zu verstehen. Seien Sie offen für neue Ideen und Erfahrungen – sowohl in Ihrem Berufsleben als auch im Alltag. Indem wir achtsam zuhören, schaffen wir nicht nur bessere Beziehungen, sondern auch eine Grundlage für kreatives Denken und Innovation.

Wer mehr über die Macht der Stille und des wirklichen Zuhörens erfahren möchte, findet im vierten Kapitel meines Buches tiefere Einblicke und praktische Tipps „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen. – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“. Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam neue Wege des Lernens und der Zusammenarbeit eröffnen!

The Power of Small Things: Reflections on Wilhelm Busch’s Quote

The quote for this article comes from Wilhelm Busch:

“Happiness often arises from paying attention to small things; unhappiness often results from neglecting small things.”

This quote is particularly supportive for me, especially during times when I feel emotionally low. It reminds me of Baron Münchhausen, who famously pulled himself out of a swamp by his own hair. In moments of despair, focusing on the small things that we often overlook can help lift us from the depths of negative emotional spirals.

Regardless of the misfortunes we face, if we concentrate on these small details and recognize their beauty and fascination, our worries suddenly seem much smaller, allowing us to find happiness even amidst unhappiness. This does not mean that negative feelings should be „magically“ erased or suppressed. On the contrary, every feeling has its place, and categorizing emotions as merely negative or positive can be misleading. Emotions signal something important and should always be taken seriously, as they help us identify issues and initiate changes both externally and internally. In fact, “negative” feelings can be powerful motivators for action.

I refer specifically to negative thought spirals that can drag a person down, much like quicksand, until they feel as though they are drowning in these emotions. By shifting our focus to the small things that we usually overlook, those overwhelming thoughts begin to quiet. We can catch our breath and devise an „exit strategy,“ allowing us to reconsider the situation from a different perspective. In doing so, we can regain our inner peace and, consequently, our happiness. This shift in mindset also alters our energy, positively affecting those around us. Suddenly, doors that were once closed begin to open.

For me, a walk in nature is the best way to discover these small wonders. I notice the first green leaves unfurling despite adverse weather, a butterfly gracefully crossing my path, or a daisy pushing its way through hard asphalt. I am also touched by the carefree laughter of a small child or a kind word from a person.

In conclusion, paying attention to these small moments can transform our perspective, helping us navigate through life’s challenges while rediscovering happiness in the process

Glaubenssätze erkennen und transformieren: Der Schlüssel zu persönlichem Wachstum

Wir alle tragen Glaubenssätze in uns, die aus unseren Erfahrungen, unserer Erziehung und den Vorbildern, an denen wir uns orientiert haben, entstanden sind. Diese Überzeugungen sind oft so tief im Unterbewusstsein verankert, dass wir nicht einmal wahrnehmen, wie sie unser Verhalten leiten. Es ist, als würde ein Düsenjet vorbeifliegen – wir hören ihn erst, wenn er schon längst weg ist. Wenn wir immer wieder auf eine bestimmte Person oder Situation reagieren, kann das ein Hinweis auf einen verborgenen Glaubenssatz sein, der unbewusst aktiviert wurde.

Im Großen und Ganzen unterscheiden wir zwischen sieben Glaubensmustern, von denen fünf als „Antreiber“ bekannt sind:

Sei stark: Diese Personen zeigen stets Stärke und wirken selbstbestimmt. Im Business halten sie an ihren Vorhaben fest und lassen keine Emotionen zu.
Beeil dich: Personen mit diesem Antreiber sind schnell und liefern ihre Arbeiten präzise und punktgenau ab.
Sei perfekt: Hier wird jedes Detail genauestens verfolgt, und Perfektion ist das Ziel.
Sei beliebt: Diese Personen suchen nach Anerkennung und Bestätigung von anderen.
Streng dich an: Kreativität und Enthusiasmus zeichnen diese Menschen aus.

Weniger bekannt sind die zwei folgenden Glaubenssätze:

Sei vorsichtig: Diese Menschen möchten alles kontrollieren und handeln strukturiert. Mikromanager haben oft gelernt, vorsichtig zu sein, um ihre Position zu sichern.
Ich kann nicht: Diese Personen streben nach einem leichten und unbeschwerten Leben, fühlen sich jedoch schnell überfordert und geben weniger ihr Bestes.

Jeder dieser Glaubenssätze hat seine Stärken und Schwächen, insbesondere wenn er übertrieben aktiv ist. Eine effektive Methode, um diese Glaubensmuster „abzuschwächen“ – denn sie bleiben Teil von uns – ist die Anwendung der Positiven Psychologie. Sie hilft, die unbewussten „Schlingel“ ins Bewusstsein zu holen.

Fragen, die dabei unterstützen können, sind:

Wie bewerte ich die Situation?
Was ist an der Situation gerade gut?

Primär im vierten Kapitel meines Buches „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“ finden Sie nähere Tipps und Informationen zu diesem Thema.

Indem wir unsere Glaubenssätze erkennen und hinterfragen, können wir nicht nur unser Verhalten transformieren, sondern auch unser persönliches und berufliches Wachstum fördern. Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam an einem positiven Mindset arbeiten und die Kraft unserer Glaubenssätze nutzen!

The Importance of Self-Happiness: Reflections on Ludwig Feuerbach’s Quote

Today’s quote comes from Ludwig Feuerbach: “Your first duty is to make yourself happy.” Feuerbach was a critic of religion and a humanist, emphasizing that individuals should use all their senses to understand the world and connect with others. He believed that love—love for nature and for fellow human beings—emerges through these connections.

I wholeheartedly agree with Feuerbach. Only by respecting and accepting ourselves—by cultivating self-love—can we truly find happiness. This self-love is not about elevating oneself above others or fostering arrogance; rather, it is about genuine self-acceptance.

When we are happy, we are in a better position to bring happiness to others. Conversely, if we feel negativity within ourselves, it becomes challenging to uplift those around us. In such a state, we may not even see others clearly; we become trapped in our own perceptions, viewing the world solely through our filters. It’s akin to placing a gray filter over a camera lens, making the brightest blue sky appear dull and gray. In this mindset, happiness is difficult to share, and kind words may get stuck in our throats.

To express humanity and compassion toward others, we must first focus on our own happiness. Ultimately, we can only share what we truly feel. By prioritizing our well-being, we create a foundation from which we can positively impact those around us.

In conclusion, Feuerbach’s wisdom serves as a reminder that self-happiness is not a selfish pursuit; it is a prerequisite for fostering genuine connections and spreading joy in the world.

Finding Joy in Every Moment: A Reflection on Christian Morgenstern’s Quote

Today’s quote comes from Christian Morgenstern: “But isn’t there happiness in every great moment, regardless of whether it is bright or dark, right or wrong?”

This quote aligns perfectly with Morgenstern, known for his „Galgenlieder,“ a collection of nonsensical poems that gained recognition through his unique style.

As I interpret these lines, it suggests that happiness can be found in all experiences, no matter what happens. At first glance, this statement may seem nonsensical, much like the Galgenlieder that made Morgenstern famous.

However, despite its seemingly absurd nature, I find this sentiment to be profoundly true and even comforting. Happiness is often difficult to recognize during dark days or challenging situations that leave us feeling sad, angry, or speechless. In such moments, we may only see the shadows of our circumstances or the dark clouds looming overhead. Happiness feels invisible, intangible, and elusive. Yet, I resonate with the essence of this quote.

Days, weeks, months, or even years may pass before we understand why certain events occurred and what the positive, happy aspects might be. Not every situation can be retrospectively viewed through a lens of happiness. For instance, in cases of terminal illness or instances of abuse and violence, the path to finding happiness seems particularly daunting.

Nevertheless, even those who endure such difficult and incomprehensible moments experience joyful hours. Happiness is likely present everywhere, even if it doesn’t appear so at first glance. As long as we are alive, there is a form of happiness in existence itself. We have the opportunity to extract positivity from the present moment and, as much as it is within our power, to make the world a better place for others, ensuring that their journey is a little easier.

In conclusion, Morgenstern reminds us that even in the darkest of times, there is potential for joy. Embracing this perspective can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life.

Die Kunst der Gesprächsvorbereitung: Schlüssel zu erfolgreicher Kommunikation

Gesprächsvorbereitungen sind das A und O einer gelungenen Kommunikation, sei es im beruflichen Kontext oder im privaten Bereich. Egal, ob wir überzeugen, etwas verkaufen oder einfach nur das Ohr des Gegenübers gewinnen möchten – die Vorbereitung spielt eine wesentliche Rolle.

Viele von uns haben an Rhetorikseminaren oder Verkaufstrainings teilgenommen, wo wir gelernt haben, offene und geschlossene Fragen zu stellen und Kernbotschaften klar zu vermitteln. Oft wird ein Fragenkatalog erstellt, den wir wie eine Checkliste abarbeiten, während wir verschiedene Überzeugungstechniken anwenden. In meiner Zeit im Außendienst erinnere ich mich an NLP-Kurse, die uns zeigten, wie man „Ja-Treppen“ einsetzt, um Zustimmung zu erhalten. Doch Kunden mögen solches Verhalten selten. Wenn sie schließlich zustimmen, geschieht dies oft nur so lange, bis der nächste Berater die Türschwelle betritt.

Eine wirkungsvolle Gesprächsvorbereitung erfordert jedoch einen anderen Ansatz. Es geht nicht nur darum, Techniken zu verwenden, sondern auch darum, eine kreative Gesprächsatmosphäre zu schaffen. Ein wichtiger Aspekt ist das Aktivieren des „Smart Vagus“, das zur Ausschüttung von Oxytocin führt – dem Hormon, das Vertrauen und Verbundenheit fördert.

Ein weiteres Schlüsselelement ist die eigene Haltung und Einstellung. Wie sehe ich meine Rolle im Gespräch? Was sind meine Absichten, und wie stehe ich zum Gesprächspartner? Hierbei hilft es, sich der eigenen Vorurteile und Interpretationen bewusst zu werden und die Dynamiken innerhalb der Gruppe zu erkennen. Eine Haltung des Wachstumsdenkens zu entwickeln, ist entscheidend.

Das dritte, entscheidende Element ist die persönliche Führung. Ich muss mir meiner eigenen Stärken und Schwächen bewusst sein und wissen, wer ich bin – mit meinen Wünschen und Ängsten. Nur so kann ein ausgewogenes Gespräch entstehen, in dem zusammen Lösungen entwickelt werden, die nachhaltig verankert werden.

Für einen genaueren Zusammenhang und weitere Einblicke in diese Themen können Sie in meinem Buch „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“ nachlesen, insbesondere im Kapitel 2. https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-662-67788-9

Insgesamt zeigt sich, dass erfolgreiche Kommunikation weit über Techniken hinausgeht. Sie erfordert Selbstreflexion, Empathie und die Fähigkeit, Beziehungen aufzubauen. Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam an unserer Gesprächskompetenz arbeiten und die Kunst der Vorbereitung meistern!

The Power of Stillness: Kierkegaard and the Journey of Self-Reflection

The quote for today comes from Søren Kierkegaard: „When everything is quiet, the most happens.“ Kierkegaard was a philosopher and a pioneer of existentialism, a philosophical movement rooted in humanism. This philosophy addresses questions of existence and meaning, emphasizing the dimension of time rather than seeking universally valid answers. It focuses on the individual, stripped of norms, values, roles, and other external characteristics.

Philosophers of this movement assert that individuals have a duty to question themselves and embark on a journey of self-discovery. A person can only be free and autonomous if they choose to be so, recognizing themselves as temporal and finite beings. The present moment, the „now,“ holds central significance. The actions that define who a person is at this moment determine their essence. Through personal will and the freedom to choose, one’s identity and autonomy emerge, making interpersonal connections more meaningful.

In this context, I find Kierkegaard’s quote particularly intriguing. Self-reflection, the development of the self, can only occur in stillness. In the chaos and turmoil of our VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, we often lack the opportunity to question ourselves and our actions, which is essential for learning and growth. It is in silence that the most profound developments can take place.

A valuable tool for such reflection is Miller, Sherod & Phyllis´s Wheel of Awareness. (https://primarygoals.com/teams/models/awareness-wheel/) This method encourages individuals to reflect quietly on the following levels:

Sensory Perceptions: What did I perceive solely through my senses, without judgment or interpretation?
Thoughts: How did I interpret and evaluate the situation? What thoughts came to me?
Feelings: How did I feel afterward?
Intentions/Wishes: What did I want to do next? What were my desires?
Behaviour: How did I react? What actions did I take based on my interpretations?

Once these questions are addressed, the reflection deepens by asking how the situation could have been interpreted differently. What evaluations might have varied? This process continues through each point, starting with feelings: If I had evaluated the situation— which is inherently neutral— differently, how might I have felt? Think then on the impact of the following questions regarding intentions and behaviour.

Today’s Reflection: Embracing Inner Stillness

Today’s quote comes from Swami Sivananda: “Just as the bottom of a lake becomes clearly visible when the surface waves settle, so too can the true self be perceived when the fluctuations of the mind calm.”

Only when we find stillness and become fully present with ourselves can we truly recognize who we are. In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, this has become increasingly challenging. We are bombarded with a constant stream of news, facts, and information. Even in everyday life, choices have multiplied; in supermarkets, for instance, we now face entire aisles filled with countless varieties of jam, rather than just four or five options.

Take a look at today’s youth: they often juggle multiple digital devices simultaneously. One screen might be playing music or a movie while another is used for homework or gaming. In restaurants, people no longer simply engage in conversation; they send messages, respond to notifications, and read texts—all while dining together. Even parents out for a stroll with their children often find themselves on the phone, chatting with friends. The focus on genuine human connection has sadly become an afterthought.

This is unfortunate because true connection with others can only be discovered when we tune out distractions and concentrate fully on the person in front of us. We now know that multitasking is not effective, yet we continue to act as if it is possible.

But the quote speaks to something deeper: in extreme situations, it can be nearly impossible to be ourselves. Just as turbulent waves hide the lake’s depths, intense emotions can obscure our true selves, making it hard to feel who we really are. This is why it is crucial to return to the present moment, consciously focusing on now and letting everything else fade away.

Breathing slowly and deeply can be a powerful way to calm those waves. In that moment of tranquility, our true selves re-emerge.

The same principle applies to our interactions with others: when we genuinely engage with someone, we can sense their true self—provided they are open to it. Let’s prioritize the moment and focus on what truly matters: ourselves and those around us. By doing so, we can cultivate deeper connections and rediscover the essence of who we are.

The Vital Role of Anger: Understanding and Harnessing Its Power

„Never act in haste out of anger – you have enough time.“ — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anger is often viewed as a negative emotion. In professional settings, it is frowned upon, much like many other emotions. From my experience, joy is perhaps the only fundamental emotion that is somewhat acceptable in the workplace, although it is often expressed cautiously. According to Paul Ekman, the basic emotions include joy, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, anger, and contempt. https://www.neverest.at/blog/7-grundemotionen-paul-ekman/

However, anger is anything but unnecessary. It is a crucial emotion that support us in following:

Indication of Injustice: Anger reveals that the person feels wronged and highlights injustices that need to be addressed.
Motivation for Change: Anger encourages us to step out of our comfort zones, set new boundaries, and advocate for ourselves actively.
Self-Protection: Anger helps us recognize underlying feelings and protects us from falling into a cycle of sadness or self-pity.
Enhanced Self-Reflection: Anger highlights where we have been hurt and prompts us to reflect on past experiences.
Catalyst for Communication: Anger drives us to discuss issues that have caused us pain. It often serves as a prompt to resolve conflicts or uncover misunderstandings.
Source of Energy: Unlike sadness, anger provides us with energy and strength, enabling us to tackle and overcome new challenges.
Emotional Processing: Anger aids in processing emotions, including fear and sadness, contributing to healing our wounds. https://www.geo.de/magazine/geo-kompakt/15270-rtkl-psychologie-heilsamer-zorn-ueber-die-wut-und-ihre-positiven

Like all emotions, anger holds significant and positive meaning. The key is to recognize anger and use it constructively. This emotion can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and even bring about a positive change in society.

Suppressing or denying anger is detrimental, as the aggressive energy it generates must go somewhere. If it is not expressed outwardly, it turns inward, potentially leading to depression or other psychosomatic disorders, according to scientists.

On the other hand, blind anger can be destructive. Emerson is not against anger; rather, he views it as a driving force that must be released gradually. It’s akin to a pressure cooker: when the contents (anger) boil, the pressure must be released slowly. If I were to open the lid suddenly, the contents would splatter against the walls and ceiling.

Treat anger like the process of opening a pressure cooker.

The Importance of Spending Time with Yourself: A Journey to Self-Love

„Spend some time with yourself every day.“ — Dalai Lama

This quote resonates deeply with me. Someone once told me that you are the most important person in your own life, a sentiment attributed to Martin Luther. Back in high school, I thought it sounded quite self-absorbed and even egocentric. During my university years, I frequently discussed a similar phrase with my roommates: „Love your neighbor as yourself“ (Mark 12:31). Some focused on „love your neighbor,“ but I believe the emphasis lies on „as yourself.“

To me, the crucial point is in that second part. You can only love another person as much as you have learned to love yourself. After all, where can love come from if you aren’t treating yourself with kindness? Is it possible that we confuse love with simply wanting to please others or feeling we must earn our partner’s affection? Only when we appreciate and accept ourselves as we truly are can we allow others to value us without needing any justification—just by being ourselves.

Achieving this self-acceptance and appreciation requires time for self-discovery. We need to understand how and why we react the way we do. Engaging with ourselves means looking into the darker aspects of our self and daring to reflect, even through discomfort.

A helpful concept for learning self-love is the Appreciation Pyramid by Prof. Dr. Reinhard Haller, which consists of seven levels:

Awareness: Ask yourself, „How am I feeling right now? What’s happening within me?“
Mindfulness: Focus on your thoughts. „Where are my thoughts? How can I bring them to the present moment, since only the now can be changed?“
Respect: Consider how you treat your soul and body. „Do I respect my own boundaries?“
Recognition: Reflect on your achievements. „What did I accomplish today? What went well?“
Appreciation: Think about your positive interactions. „How did I behave positively today? Where did I make a difference?“
Trust: This level is a natural outcome of the previous steps—trusting your abilities and knowing how to respond in different situations.
Self-love: This is the culmination of all the previous levels.

How can you reach all this states? The answer is simple: spend time with yourself.