Let the problem go

Today’s quote comes from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: ‘Solving a problem means detaching yourself from the problem.’

The word problem only became popular in the 16th century. It comes from the Latin word problēma. It is an undecided, doubtful task presented for solution, a question of dispute and is borrowed from the Greek πρόβλημα ‘task, question’. It also means the topic is ‘questionable, doubtful, uncertain, undecided’ and therefore leads to pondering.

According to Goethe, a problem can only be solved if you distance yourself from the problem and no longer consider it centrally, but detach yourself from it.

That makes sense to me, because if you remain stuck in the problem, you start to brood and possibly look for blame, usually on yourself. This leads to thoughts such as:

  • ‘If I had behaved differently, would the problem not have occurred?’

  • ‘Why did this have to happen?’

You start to find a cause in the past that, if found, you can’t fix anyway. The past has been. It has led me to the present. Seeking the cause or the culprit, provided it’s not a criminal matter, seems pointless as it does not alter the current situation. So the best thing to do is to detach yourself from the problem and survive:

  • ‘What can I do now to build a sustainable and positive future from the present?’

  • ‘How can I enjoy the present despite the problem that needs to be solved?’

  • ‘How can I build oases in which the sun shines for me, despite the shadows or dark clouds of the problem?’

The beauty lies in the fact that shadows shift with the changing light, and clouds are dispersed by the wind. Rest assured, the world continues to transform, even as you only reflect.

On the other hand, it’s important to consider and reflect on the problem and its causes, without assigning blame. I can only change the problem in the long term if I am prepared to look clearly at my behaviour in the past, analyse it and consider what I would like to do differently in the future. In other words, ask the question

  1. ‘What have I learnt that I would like to do differently now (in the present)?’

  2. ‘How can I emerge stronger from the problem so that I can look back with pride?’

  3. ‘What does the new, more developed me look like?’

Problems can be resolved by analyzing them objectively and drawing necessary conclusions for one’s behavior and attitudes. However, it is essential to then release the problem and concentrate on the present.

These three steps

1. recognise the problem

2. self-reflection and sober analysis of your own behaviour with the resulting maxim for change

3. let go of the problem so that it can be solved.

What do you think?

Our inner wealth

This week’s quote comes from Emil Cioran: „Our real wealth: the hours in which we have done nothing. They are what shape us, individualise us, distinguish us.“

I have discovered two possible interpretations of this quote, both of which go in a completely different direction.

The first interpretation I see is that our leisure time, which we don’t spend earning money, is crucial to how we develop. Do we just sit on the couch and let ourselves be entertained or are we active, learning a language, an instrument or going out into nature? Our experiences and adventures shape us and change us. This is how the difference in attitudes, interpretation patterns and attitudes arises. Perhaps this also has an influence on our prejudices and values, for example when we get to know other cultures and / or countries.

The second interpretation I see is that time shapes and changes us when we were simply in our thoughts, i.e. when we are doing nothing from the outside perspective. When we reflect on the day, our behaviour and, even more profoundly, our thoughts. In doing so, we become self-effective, self-aware and reconsider whether we have acted in accordance with our values and desires. We can also include our physical reactions in the reflection: How and what did I feel in the individual situations? How did my body feel? What did my body want to tell me in the situation? This reflection allows us to grow, as we can recognise and perceive a lot about ourselves. Through self-awareness, we can learn, grow and change. The main question is here what and not why, as why is seeking for quilt and is looking back. What is more future orientated and create opportunities (see research from Tasha Eurich).

My second interpretation is more of a mindfulness exercise that has been proven to help us develop. The development is different from that in my first interpretation of the quote. The above development leads to new or improved skills and abilities. The development below develops the mind and character.

Which interpretation do you choose?

Here are some links to meta-analysis of mindfulness:
– Frontiers | A meta-analysis of the association between mindfulness and motivation (frontiersin.org)
– A synthesis of meta-analyses of mindfulness-based interventi… : PAIN (lww.com)
– (4) (PDF) Meditation, Mindfulness, and Attention: a Meta-analysis (researchgate.net)
– (4) (PDF) Mindfulness as Attention Training: Meta-Analyses on the Links Between Attention Performance and Mindfulness Interventions, Long-Term Meditation Practice, and Trait Mindfulness (researchgate.net)

Self-critism and / or self-awarness?

Self-knowledge has a long history and is mentioned in Sanskrit „This is you“ and in the Temple of Delphi „Know thyself“. In psychology, it is the introspective analysis of one’s own thought patterns, interpretations, and character in order to find answers: What am I like? Who am I? It is about understanding the reasons for one’s behaviour and actions to be able to change them. (source: Selbsterkenntnis – Lexikon der Psychologie (spektrum.de))

Self-criticism is looking critically at oneself and finding misbehaviour or shortcomings in oneself. The core question of self-criticism is: „Why did this happen? Why did I make this mistake?“ If a person names the shortcomings themselves, they will be more motivated to change them than if they are criticised by someone else. (source: Selbstkritik – Lexikon der Psychologie (spektrum.de))

In this way, self-criticism is needed to build self-awareness, but it is limited because it focuses on a person’s shortcomings rather than their strengths. Self-awareness is a balanced approach that considers both the strengths and the weaknesses of the self. This has a more positive impact on the self than focusing solely on failures and areas for development, and has an impact on a person’s performance. The Gallup Institute suggests that focusing on strengths leads to six times greater emotional engagement in one’s work, employees are six times more likely to do what they do best every day, three times more likely to feel that their quality of life is excellent, and 8-18% higher performance, which increases turnover by 10-19% and profits by 14-29%. (source: Learn About the Science of CliftonStrengths | EN – Gallup))

To create an environment of self-awareness rather than self-criticism, Tasha Eurich´s tip might be useful. Ask yourself and others questions that start with What…. rather than Why… . The why always looks backwards and seeks out the „culprit“. What looks forward and tries to find solutions. This allows for real reflection on what has happened.

Give more weight to the What in your everyday communication.