November 2024 – Food for thoughts

Glaubenssätze erkennen und transformieren: Der Schlüssel zu persönlichem Wachstum

Wir alle tragen Glaubenssätze in uns, die aus unseren Erfahrungen, unserer Erziehung und den Vorbildern, an denen wir uns orientiert haben, entstanden sind. Diese Überzeugungen sind oft so tief im Unterbewusstsein verankert, dass wir nicht einmal wahrnehmen, wie sie unser Verhalten leiten. Es ist, als würde ein Düsenjet vorbeifliegen – wir hören ihn erst, wenn er schon längst weg ist. Wenn wir immer wieder auf eine bestimmte Person oder Situation reagieren, kann das ein Hinweis auf einen verborgenen Glaubenssatz sein, der unbewusst aktiviert wurde.

Im Großen und Ganzen unterscheiden wir zwischen sieben Glaubensmustern, von denen fünf als „Antreiber“ bekannt sind:

Sei stark: Diese Personen zeigen stets Stärke und wirken selbstbestimmt. Im Business halten sie an ihren Vorhaben fest und lassen keine Emotionen zu.
Beeil dich: Personen mit diesem Antreiber sind schnell und liefern ihre Arbeiten präzise und punktgenau ab.
Sei perfekt: Hier wird jedes Detail genauestens verfolgt, und Perfektion ist das Ziel.
Sei beliebt: Diese Personen suchen nach Anerkennung und Bestätigung von anderen.
Streng dich an: Kreativität und Enthusiasmus zeichnen diese Menschen aus.

Weniger bekannt sind die zwei folgenden Glaubenssätze:

Sei vorsichtig: Diese Menschen möchten alles kontrollieren und handeln strukturiert. Mikromanager haben oft gelernt, vorsichtig zu sein, um ihre Position zu sichern.
Ich kann nicht: Diese Personen streben nach einem leichten und unbeschwerten Leben, fühlen sich jedoch schnell überfordert und geben weniger ihr Bestes.

Jeder dieser Glaubenssätze hat seine Stärken und Schwächen, insbesondere wenn er übertrieben aktiv ist. Eine effektive Methode, um diese Glaubensmuster „abzuschwächen“ – denn sie bleiben Teil von uns – ist die Anwendung der Positiven Psychologie. Sie hilft, die unbewussten „Schlingel“ ins Bewusstsein zu holen.

Fragen, die dabei unterstützen können, sind:

Wie bewerte ich die Situation?
Was ist an der Situation gerade gut?

Primär im vierten Kapitel meines Buches „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“ finden Sie nähere Tipps und Informationen zu diesem Thema.

Indem wir unsere Glaubenssätze erkennen und hinterfragen, können wir nicht nur unser Verhalten transformieren, sondern auch unser persönliches und berufliches Wachstum fördern. Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam an einem positiven Mindset arbeiten und die Kraft unserer Glaubenssätze nutzen!

The Importance of Self-Happiness: Reflections on Ludwig Feuerbach’s Quote

Today’s quote comes from Ludwig Feuerbach: “Your first duty is to make yourself happy.” Feuerbach was a critic of religion and a humanist, emphasizing that individuals should use all their senses to understand the world and connect with others. He believed that love—love for nature and for fellow human beings—emerges through these connections.

I wholeheartedly agree with Feuerbach. Only by respecting and accepting ourselves—by cultivating self-love—can we truly find happiness. This self-love is not about elevating oneself above others or fostering arrogance; rather, it is about genuine self-acceptance.

When we are happy, we are in a better position to bring happiness to others. Conversely, if we feel negativity within ourselves, it becomes challenging to uplift those around us. In such a state, we may not even see others clearly; we become trapped in our own perceptions, viewing the world solely through our filters. It’s akin to placing a gray filter over a camera lens, making the brightest blue sky appear dull and gray. In this mindset, happiness is difficult to share, and kind words may get stuck in our throats.

To express humanity and compassion toward others, we must first focus on our own happiness. Ultimately, we can only share what we truly feel. By prioritizing our well-being, we create a foundation from which we can positively impact those around us.

In conclusion, Feuerbach’s wisdom serves as a reminder that self-happiness is not a selfish pursuit; it is a prerequisite for fostering genuine connections and spreading joy in the world.

Finding Joy in Every Moment: A Reflection on Christian Morgenstern’s Quote

Today’s quote comes from Christian Morgenstern: “But isn’t there happiness in every great moment, regardless of whether it is bright or dark, right or wrong?”

This quote aligns perfectly with Morgenstern, known for his „Galgenlieder,“ a collection of nonsensical poems that gained recognition through his unique style.

As I interpret these lines, it suggests that happiness can be found in all experiences, no matter what happens. At first glance, this statement may seem nonsensical, much like the Galgenlieder that made Morgenstern famous.

However, despite its seemingly absurd nature, I find this sentiment to be profoundly true and even comforting. Happiness is often difficult to recognize during dark days or challenging situations that leave us feeling sad, angry, or speechless. In such moments, we may only see the shadows of our circumstances or the dark clouds looming overhead. Happiness feels invisible, intangible, and elusive. Yet, I resonate with the essence of this quote.

Days, weeks, months, or even years may pass before we understand why certain events occurred and what the positive, happy aspects might be. Not every situation can be retrospectively viewed through a lens of happiness. For instance, in cases of terminal illness or instances of abuse and violence, the path to finding happiness seems particularly daunting.

Nevertheless, even those who endure such difficult and incomprehensible moments experience joyful hours. Happiness is likely present everywhere, even if it doesn’t appear so at first glance. As long as we are alive, there is a form of happiness in existence itself. We have the opportunity to extract positivity from the present moment and, as much as it is within our power, to make the world a better place for others, ensuring that their journey is a little easier.

In conclusion, Morgenstern reminds us that even in the darkest of times, there is potential for joy. Embracing this perspective can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life.

Buchrezession zu: „Bertha prahl: „Ich gewinne jeden Krieg!““ von Michael C. Seda

„Berta prahlt: ‚Ich gewinne jeden Krieg‘ ist ein Buch, auf das man sich einlassen muss.

Die Entwicklung des Charakters Michael, der sich durch den Eintritt in das Familienunternehmen seiner Frau verändert, wird gut illustriert. Aus einer einst harmonischen Familienzeit wird durch Machtintrigen und unpassende Positionierungen, als Schwiegersohn gehört man in das Management, im Unternehmen, die auf familiären Beziehungen basieren, eine Zerreißprobe, die die Familie zerstört. Michael, der Protagonist, verfällt dem Alkohol, da aus dem Wunschschwiegersohn plötzlich eine Persona non grata wird. Durch den Alkohol wird der Umgang mit seiner Schwiegermutter für Michael erträglich.

Die Geschichte zeigt eindrucksvoll, wie ein vermeintlicher Traum in einen Alptraum umschlagen kann, und dass das Ignorieren der Realität zu einer Selbstzerstörung führen kann. Die grundlegende Idee der Geschichte und die Lehre, die man aus ihr ziehen kann, sind nachvollziehbar und regen zur Reflexion an. Allerdings fehlte mir die Spannung, und eine deutlichere Darstellung der Charakterentwicklungen und -einstellungen wäre wünschenswert gewesen. Leider sind die Satzbildungen etwas gewöhnungsbedürftig, und die Verwendung von Ausrufezeichen wirkt manchmal übertrieben.

Die Kunst der Gesprächsvorbereitung: Schlüssel zu erfolgreicher Kommunikation

Gesprächsvorbereitungen sind das A und O einer gelungenen Kommunikation, sei es im beruflichen Kontext oder im privaten Bereich. Egal, ob wir überzeugen, etwas verkaufen oder einfach nur das Ohr des Gegenübers gewinnen möchten – die Vorbereitung spielt eine wesentliche Rolle.

Viele von uns haben an Rhetorikseminaren oder Verkaufstrainings teilgenommen, wo wir gelernt haben, offene und geschlossene Fragen zu stellen und Kernbotschaften klar zu vermitteln. Oft wird ein Fragenkatalog erstellt, den wir wie eine Checkliste abarbeiten, während wir verschiedene Überzeugungstechniken anwenden. In meiner Zeit im Außendienst erinnere ich mich an NLP-Kurse, die uns zeigten, wie man „Ja-Treppen“ einsetzt, um Zustimmung zu erhalten. Doch Kunden mögen solches Verhalten selten. Wenn sie schließlich zustimmen, geschieht dies oft nur so lange, bis der nächste Berater die Türschwelle betritt.

Eine wirkungsvolle Gesprächsvorbereitung erfordert jedoch einen anderen Ansatz. Es geht nicht nur darum, Techniken zu verwenden, sondern auch darum, eine kreative Gesprächsatmosphäre zu schaffen. Ein wichtiger Aspekt ist das Aktivieren des „Smart Vagus“, das zur Ausschüttung von Oxytocin führt – dem Hormon, das Vertrauen und Verbundenheit fördert.

Ein weiteres Schlüsselelement ist die eigene Haltung und Einstellung. Wie sehe ich meine Rolle im Gespräch? Was sind meine Absichten, und wie stehe ich zum Gesprächspartner? Hierbei hilft es, sich der eigenen Vorurteile und Interpretationen bewusst zu werden und die Dynamiken innerhalb der Gruppe zu erkennen. Eine Haltung des Wachstumsdenkens zu entwickeln, ist entscheidend.

Das dritte, entscheidende Element ist die persönliche Führung. Ich muss mir meiner eigenen Stärken und Schwächen bewusst sein und wissen, wer ich bin – mit meinen Wünschen und Ängsten. Nur so kann ein ausgewogenes Gespräch entstehen, in dem zusammen Lösungen entwickelt werden, die nachhaltig verankert werden.

Für einen genaueren Zusammenhang und weitere Einblicke in diese Themen können Sie in meinem Buch „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“ nachlesen, insbesondere im Kapitel 2. https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-662-67788-9

Insgesamt zeigt sich, dass erfolgreiche Kommunikation weit über Techniken hinausgeht. Sie erfordert Selbstreflexion, Empathie und die Fähigkeit, Beziehungen aufzubauen. Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam an unserer Gesprächskompetenz arbeiten und die Kunst der Vorbereitung meistern!

The Power of Stillness: Kierkegaard and the Journey of Self-Reflection

The quote for today comes from Søren Kierkegaard: „When everything is quiet, the most happens.“ Kierkegaard was a philosopher and a pioneer of existentialism, a philosophical movement rooted in humanism. This philosophy addresses questions of existence and meaning, emphasizing the dimension of time rather than seeking universally valid answers. It focuses on the individual, stripped of norms, values, roles, and other external characteristics.

Philosophers of this movement assert that individuals have a duty to question themselves and embark on a journey of self-discovery. A person can only be free and autonomous if they choose to be so, recognizing themselves as temporal and finite beings. The present moment, the „now,“ holds central significance. The actions that define who a person is at this moment determine their essence. Through personal will and the freedom to choose, one’s identity and autonomy emerge, making interpersonal connections more meaningful.

In this context, I find Kierkegaard’s quote particularly intriguing. Self-reflection, the development of the self, can only occur in stillness. In the chaos and turmoil of our VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, we often lack the opportunity to question ourselves and our actions, which is essential for learning and growth. It is in silence that the most profound developments can take place.

A valuable tool for such reflection is Miller, Sherod & Phyllis´s Wheel of Awareness. (https://primarygoals.com/teams/models/awareness-wheel/) This method encourages individuals to reflect quietly on the following levels:

Sensory Perceptions: What did I perceive solely through my senses, without judgment or interpretation?
Thoughts: How did I interpret and evaluate the situation? What thoughts came to me?
Feelings: How did I feel afterward?
Intentions/Wishes: What did I want to do next? What were my desires?
Behaviour: How did I react? What actions did I take based on my interpretations?

Once these questions are addressed, the reflection deepens by asking how the situation could have been interpreted differently. What evaluations might have varied? This process continues through each point, starting with feelings: If I had evaluated the situation— which is inherently neutral— differently, how might I have felt? Think then on the impact of the following questions regarding intentions and behaviour.

The Balance of Ambition: Embracing Consequences

Denzel Washington says, “If you pray for rain, you have to deal with mud. It’s part of the deal.” This quote illustrates that every action we take has consequences—both positive and negative. Washington often speaks about the challenges and efforts associated with pursuing goals and dreams. When we strive for growth, change, or success, we must also take responsibility for the unwanted consequences that come with it.

In this sense, the “rain” symbolizes the positive outcomes we desire, while the “mud” represents the difficulties and complications that can arise from our ambitions. Depending on the soil conditions—meaning the circumstances and environment—a small amount of rain can lead to mud, while in other conditions, a lot of rain is needed to produce similar effects.

This metaphor shows that excessive pressure or thoughtless actions can lead to negative consequences. If we cling too stubbornly to our goals without considering the perspectives and needs of others, it can act like a boomerang: our actions return to us in the form of resistance or misunderstandings.

Ultimately, it requires a balance between determination and consideration to achieve both personal and communal progress. If we handle our ambitions wisely, we can foster the growth we desire without neglecting the unwanted side effects.

It is crucial to find a balance between determination and consideration for others. By working together towards our goals, we can not only achieve personal success but also create an environment where everyone can thrive.

Reflect on your own goals and ask yourself: How can you ensure that your pursuit of success benefits others as well? Share your thoughts with your team or network!

Embracing Hope: A Reflection on Renewal

Today’s quote is a wisdom from the Native Americans: “Never despair. Days pass like autumn leaves flying in the wind, and the days return with a clear sky and the splendor of the forests. Every seed is awakened anew, and so life unfolds.”

This is a beautiful and uplifting message. It’s easy to say “never despair,” but when fears and doubts rush in like a hungry wolf, it can feel overwhelming. Yet, this quote reminds us to stay grounded, to reflect on our strengths, and to trust in our resilience.

We can do this by recalling moments of success, joy, self-acceptance, and self-love. The moments of fear and doubt will pass, just like the autumn leaves swept away by the wind. There will come a time when those anxieties and uncertainties fade. Each day can unfold differently if we let go of the clouds from yesterday and consciously choose not to cling to them. By opening our eyes to the wonders around us, no matter how small—like a ladybug on the window or a vibrant red leaf—we invite positivity into our lives.

Every day presents us with a fresh opportunity to start anew, to make courageous choices, and to embrace new beginnings. Just as the quote suggests, each day holds the potential for something to end, like the falling leaves, but it also holds the promise for new growth and blossoming. Perhaps a seed that has long been dormant can finally break through to the surface.

Let’s focus on the positive. When has something wonderful happened to you out of nowhere? For me, it was the pregnancy with my first child. I had almost given up hope and was saving for a dog instead. Then, quite unexpectedly, I found out I was pregnant, as if from “nothing.” This marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life, one that arrived so suddenly. (And yes, I eventually got a dog too!)

Let us embrace the unexpected joys that life brings, knowing that each day is a chance for renewal and growth.

Embracing Success: The Power of Vision Boards

Ernst Bloch, the German philosopher and social theorist, is known for his philosophy of hope. He emphasized that dreams and desires—our utopias—are the driving force behind our actions and can lead to societal change. Bloch’s ideas have had a lasting impact on culture in the fields of art, literature, and political theory.

The Power of a Vision Board

A practical example of being in love with success is creating a vision board. On a vision board, we visualize our desired utopias—our wishes, dreams, life goals, and yearnings—by creating a collage of images and words. This creative activity helps clarify our goals and activates our subconscious to bring these visions to life.

How a Vision Board Works

A vision board encourages a more conscious and focused perception of our environment. By visualizing our desires, we are quicker to recognize opportunities and more motivated to seize them. This relates to the confirmation bias, which leads us to select information that supports our expectations. If we believe in our failure, we tend to notice only setbacks, negatively impacting our emotions and demeanor.

Conversely, a positive attitude leads to greater self-confidence—manifested in an upright posture, strong voice, and firm handshake. People with a positive outlook tend to attract like-minded individuals, which aligns with the so-called excellence phenomenon: top-notch leaders attract and retain top employees. Those who embody excellence seek inspiration at eye level to further develop themselves, while mediocre leaders often perceive high achievers as a threat.

Conclusion

When we are in love with success, we cultivate the intrinsic motivation to achieve excellence. We naturally attract exceptional people into our lives—a win-win situation for everyone involved.

Question for the Readers: How do you implement utopias in your professional life to achieve your goals? What steps can you take to visualize and realize your visions?

Today’s Reflection: Embracing Inner Stillness

Today’s quote comes from Swami Sivananda: “Just as the bottom of a lake becomes clearly visible when the surface waves settle, so too can the true self be perceived when the fluctuations of the mind calm.”

Only when we find stillness and become fully present with ourselves can we truly recognize who we are. In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, this has become increasingly challenging. We are bombarded with a constant stream of news, facts, and information. Even in everyday life, choices have multiplied; in supermarkets, for instance, we now face entire aisles filled with countless varieties of jam, rather than just four or five options.

Take a look at today’s youth: they often juggle multiple digital devices simultaneously. One screen might be playing music or a movie while another is used for homework or gaming. In restaurants, people no longer simply engage in conversation; they send messages, respond to notifications, and read texts—all while dining together. Even parents out for a stroll with their children often find themselves on the phone, chatting with friends. The focus on genuine human connection has sadly become an afterthought.

This is unfortunate because true connection with others can only be discovered when we tune out distractions and concentrate fully on the person in front of us. We now know that multitasking is not effective, yet we continue to act as if it is possible.

But the quote speaks to something deeper: in extreme situations, it can be nearly impossible to be ourselves. Just as turbulent waves hide the lake’s depths, intense emotions can obscure our true selves, making it hard to feel who we really are. This is why it is crucial to return to the present moment, consciously focusing on now and letting everything else fade away.

Breathing slowly and deeply can be a powerful way to calm those waves. In that moment of tranquility, our true selves re-emerge.

The same principle applies to our interactions with others: when we genuinely engage with someone, we can sense their true self—provided they are open to it. Let’s prioritize the moment and focus on what truly matters: ourselves and those around us. By doing so, we can cultivate deeper connections and rediscover the essence of who we are.