Positive Psychology: The power of self-compassion to overcome adversity

Self -compassion means to treat your self with care, kindness and concern you would show to your be loved when they are struggling.

In this way, treat yourself like you would behave towards others.

 Often we are more cruel and colder to our-self than to others. Self-compassion turns this around and we have against us compassion as well.

To be able to be compassion against our-self we need to be mindful with our feelings and pains we have.

There fore we have to observe them, accept them and acknowledge them instead of ignoring and suppress them. We need to look at the chance of the situation than to focus on how bad things are.

 Instead of feeling isolated and lonely we should assume that nobody is perfect and has to deal by them self with challenges in their live.

This is what differentiates self- compassion from self-pity.

 Instead of trying to replace bad feelings with ‘better’ ones, we can create sustainable positive emotions through dealing with our suffering with kindness and care. In this way both sort of feelings can be felt in parallel. Such friendly and benevolent ability helps us to come over the difficulties we are coping with and explain why self-compassionate people are happier, more optimistic, and satisfied with their lives than those who don´t care for them self.

From a scientific perspective strengthen such behaviour your immune system and enhances physical health by decreasing cortisol and increasing heart rate variability.

What is the characteristic of a highly motivated person?

According to Prof. Michaela Brom-Badry, lecturer in the theory of motivation at the University of Karlsruhe, there are three identical characteristics of looking at oneself as a reason to be highly motivated.

 These are:

  1. Acting Autonomously: If you would say the following sentence to yourself: „I have the choice and feel free in what I do“, then you perceive your activity as acting autonomously. The higher your satisfaction with your own autonomy, the higher your sense of well-being and motivation to perform.
  2. Competent: If the following sentence fits you, you feel competent: „I have the feeling that I can successfully master difficult tasks.
  3. Socially Connected: If you are socially connected, you would say: „I have a warm feeling for the people I spend time with.“ Or „I feel close and connected to people I care about.“

 If you want to feel more motivated, work on the three things: Feeling free, feeling competent and feeling connected.

Positive Psychologe: For the future we need courage!

Courage with which it is possible for us to overcome our fear, to be able to go new ways, to trust ourselves, to overcome our own limits, to live our own convictions, to be authentic, to master life, to grow personally, in short, to live in our personal courage zone.

 Courage is something different for everyone.

It means taking a risk to achieve a goal that is valuable to oneself. Therefor the proportionality plays an important role.

The relative proportionality of the risk compared to the value of the goal is based on the subjective assessment of the person taking or observing the action. Actions that are considered courageous by all are usually those where everyone agrees that the risk is significant, and the goal is valuable.

 Courage plays a special role in times of crisis or challenging situations to overcome them.

 If you like to reflect what the meaning of courage is to you, feel free to use the thought flower.

Positive Psychology: Power of Gratitude

To work in harmonious and force human flourishing you should be grateful and demonstrate gratitude to reach this aim. This is scientifically proven.

In order to get a positive emotional reaction to one’s own behaviour, it is necessary to promote goodness in itself through gratitude in and towards oneself.

Gratitude is well proven in many studies that this is beneficial for your well-being in the psychology, physical and spiritual level. Gratitude supports you to have in orientation in your life it lowers the stress level and increase the positive emotions, and through gratitude social relationship will flourish and maintain.

With your appreciation you support the interrelationship between each other.

Studies shows that gratitude helps you to overcome critical situations in live and see the tragic in your life with more distance.

Like Solomon a lecturer on Søren Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sartre and other said in the Oxford University press 20002:

Gratitude, I want to suggest, is not only the best answer to the tragedies of life. It is the best approach to life itself.

Mindful or mind full

The definition of mindfulness from Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of it, is:

 ”Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non judgmentally; knowing what you are doing while you are doing.”

 During vacation it´s easier to be mindful with our selves.

  • We relax and calm down (e.g. enjoying the sun)
  • We are more curious and try to discover new things (e.g. visiting museums)
  • We are more present (e.g. hiking in the nature)
  • We are open for new perspectives (e.g. travelling to new districts / counties)

 This effect we can reinforce, through:

  1. Try something new
  2. Get out from behind the camera – be present
  3. Play
  4. Practice gratitude every single day
  5. Do less
  6. Enjoy process, not just the outcome
  7. Step away from electronics
  8. Take the opportunity to really connect with others
  9. Spend some time alone

 I´m curious to learn from you:

What are you doing during your tome off to relax and calm down?

How do you practice mindfulness during your vacation?

What are your secrets and recommendation to come relaxed back from vacation to work?

How would you liked to be remembered?

Yesterday we had a fantastic meeting in the OBD, about our agile and modern meeting culture, we will establish.

One point in this presentation was, that we should not accept an invitation, when we think we bring no added value to this topic. I can´t agree more.

Nevertheless, some of us have the assumption, that we should follow meeting invitations, as when we are seen there create the impression and the memory that we are important and crucial for the business.

This brought me to some thought about, how people might want to be remembered, as:

  • always to be busy and to have an overcrowded diary to show how important we are
  • spending long time in front of our laptop or in the office compared with others
  • trying to achieve good sounding job-title, a higher hierarchical level or other status symbols

Is this really for what you want to be measured or be remembered?

What do you think, could this be truly honest satisfying for you?

For me other thinks count more. I would be happier to be remembered as a person, who:

  • gave you valuable food for thoughts and thinking time
  • saw the brilliance in each conversational partner, with less amount of prejudgment a human being can have
  • was open to learn from others and treat all people in the same way
  • make people smile and reflect on their own and other way round.

For what or how would you like to be remembered?

If you like share your thoughts with us. I would be glad to get any ressonance from you.

Thank you in advance.

Historic role models: Napoleon Bonaparte role model of modern leadership?

Letting beside the cruel and interessting psychological dimension of Napoleon Bonaparte, his leadership style was astonishing modern and systemic.

In a way, he was ahead of his time.

Many of today’s leaders could learn from Napoeleon’s leadership style.

 His leadership principles were:

  1. „Never ask others what you are not prepared to do your self
  2. Be courageous
  3. Plan everything
  4. Establish clear objectives
  5. Be diplomatic
  6. Secure alliance and be loyal
  7. Search for facts and truth
  8. Intelligence is vital, set high standards
  9. Be fair, firm and flexible
  10. Maintain personal discipline
  11. Concentrate on primary objectives
  12. Stay in touch with your team
  13. Keep your promises
  14. Give credits for success
  15. Take responsibility for failure
  16. Prepair for victory and anticipate failure
  17. Be passionate, energetic enthusiastic
  18. Maintain „integrity“

Such thinking, principles and approaches can be found in the literature on leadership today.

(Source: https://scholar.valpo.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1389&c… )

Study: Gender difference in building self-confidence

In an 2020 IFD Allensbach study (IfD – Institut für Demoskopie Allensbach (IfD) (ifd-allensbach.de)), 800 women and 800 men were asked: „What people draw their self-confidence from varies greatly. According to your observations, what does it particularly depend on whether women / men are self-confident? What from this list is particularly important?“

On top one for men was „success at work“ with 82% builds their confidence, followed by „finances“ at 77%. On top one for women was „popularity“ with 74% builds their confidence, followed by „good looks“ 72% Women answered only 66% that „success at work“ is important to their confidence.

Men want almost equal amounts of „recognition from women“ (51%) and „recognition from men“ (45%). Women voted differently in terms of gender. „Recognition from men“ supports self-confidence more (45%) than from „recognition from women“ only with (29%).

One assumption of the last fact could be that gender equivalence is more ingrained in the minds of men than in the minds of women. Women seem to value the recognition of men more than that of women (maybe this is just a wrong interpretation of a statistic 😉 ).

What is your opinion on this interesting fact?

Overcome difficulties of change

Change is on everyone’s lips and ears. Nothing seems to be as important as this word, this activity. When reading job descriptions, one of the most important skills is to be change-affine. Change is something natural, we change all our lives without pressure. It is the normal changing development from baby to child, to teenager and to adult and finally to senior. Some people seem to change only physically. They then get stuck at certain points in, for example, childhood.

If one wants to change an organisation, this is just as natural as the environment often changes. The tricky thing about change in an organisation is that everyone is expected to change in the same direction at the same time. The top leadership decides that the organisation should change in a certain direction. These leaders themselves develop the desired changes at their own pace and to fit their thought patterns. Often, they do not consider that everyone in the organisation has their own thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. In this way, they are one step ahead of the rest of the organisation, having worked on these changes months or years before the others. The lower hierarchies then must adapt their beliefs, thinking patterns and thus their behaviour in a much shorter period, mostly expected to happen ad hoc. This is almost impossible because they are only told the reasons and purpose behind the change and could not figure them out themselves. They are expected to follow the implementation rather than understand it. To use the above image, it is like being a baby and having to transition from that directly to adulthood. This is not possible because the necessary developmental steps would be missing.

Change is necessary to survive in the VUCA world, that is clear. Change alone is not enough, in my opinion. Only if everyone wants to change and everyone is given the same time to change, as is currently lived more at senior level, then sustainable change takes place, because everyone in the organization could take the small development steps.

Idea for implementation: To use the entire organization and its expertise, the sustainable method would be to invite all members of the organization (participative change). This is often impossible. To still hear, take along and „use“ the various areas and departments, ambassadors could be sent from each area. These ambassadors are not sent by the executives or apply independently. They are elected by the area or department, through the colleagues. Through this critics will be more likely to entering the „development group“. One rule should be, that the „development-group“ is a judgmental-free space. Such an approach of working participatively changes the basic assumptions at the lowest level of Edgar Schein’s culture model. This takes courage and a perceived loss of power from top management, but it is worth trying as the intelligence and willingness of the entire organization will drive change and not just a „handful“ of people chosen for their hierarchical level.

#changemanagement #organization #VUCA #Idea