Define your value / worth in life

We often give more power to others to decide what value we have. In my eyes this should be different. I think it should always start with allowing ourselves to recognise and internalise our own value.

We tend to accept that our value is defined by the opinions of others, by our salary or by our status symbols. We rarely reflect on the skills we possess and who we are in terms of character. What value would we place on ourselves?

In my opinion, we must first value ourselves from within and define how we see our own worth, not measure our own worth through the eyes of others who can only judge from their own beliefs and value us by comparing us to what they are doing. Appreciation that comes from the outside has to be seen in the context of the situation. As an extreme example to illustrate my thoughts, surely the value that a mafia boss would define would be opposite to a clergyman on some issues.

When we begin to value ourselves, we will be able to value others in a non-judgmental way. If we begin to value ourselves, we will be more patient with others and less competitive, because we will have little or no need for the appreciation and recognition of others.

Our own appreciation and esteem for ourselves should be enough and weigh more than that of others.

I found this story, with thanks to Nadja Sandmann for posting the German version, which illustrates these thoughts very well: https://youtu.be/tb5iRxXahyI

Coaching is like a good (mental) fitness trainer

The main analogy is that the performance coach needs to be a role model.

Only when he/she shows the same attitudes, behavior and mindset what the performance coach wants to see at the employee, the employee will adapt it. When your sports trainer is not accurate in what he/she practise the mistake will be transferred to the participant.

 The analog to a trainer and a performance coaching is

  • accountable partnership
  • process discipline
  • process goals
  • planning
  • review/ tracking / recording progress
  • attitude role modelling

 Without a trainer / coach the most people would have achieved less of what they would have reached without a specialist accountability partner who ensures that the agreed process is rigorously followed, and that performance progress is tracked and visible.

 There is an investment in an optional service with results that are exponentially better than if the individual or team went without focused and specialist support.

What is the characteristic of a highly motivated person?

According to Prof. Michaela Brom-Badry, lecturer in the theory of motivation at the University of Karlsruhe, there are three identical characteristics of looking at oneself as a reason to be highly motivated.

 These are:

  1. Acting Autonomously: If you would say the following sentence to yourself: „I have the choice and feel free in what I do“, then you perceive your activity as acting autonomously. The higher your satisfaction with your own autonomy, the higher your sense of well-being and motivation to perform.
  2. Competent: If the following sentence fits you, you feel competent: „I have the feeling that I can successfully master difficult tasks.
  3. Socially Connected: If you are socially connected, you would say: „I have a warm feeling for the people I spend time with.“ Or „I feel close and connected to people I care about.“

 If you want to feel more motivated, work on the three things: Feeling free, feeling competent and feeling connected.

Positive Psychologe: For the future we need courage!

Courage with which it is possible for us to overcome our fear, to be able to go new ways, to trust ourselves, to overcome our own limits, to live our own convictions, to be authentic, to master life, to grow personally, in short, to live in our personal courage zone.

 Courage is something different for everyone.

It means taking a risk to achieve a goal that is valuable to oneself. Therefor the proportionality plays an important role.

The relative proportionality of the risk compared to the value of the goal is based on the subjective assessment of the person taking or observing the action. Actions that are considered courageous by all are usually those where everyone agrees that the risk is significant, and the goal is valuable.

 Courage plays a special role in times of crisis or challenging situations to overcome them.

 If you like to reflect what the meaning of courage is to you, feel free to use the thought flower.

Positive Psychology: Power of Gratitude

To work in harmonious and force human flourishing you should be grateful and demonstrate gratitude to reach this aim. This is scientifically proven.

In order to get a positive emotional reaction to one’s own behaviour, it is necessary to promote goodness in itself through gratitude in and towards oneself.

Gratitude is well proven in many studies that this is beneficial for your well-being in the psychology, physical and spiritual level. Gratitude supports you to have in orientation in your life it lowers the stress level and increase the positive emotions, and through gratitude social relationship will flourish and maintain.

With your appreciation you support the interrelationship between each other.

Studies shows that gratitude helps you to overcome critical situations in live and see the tragic in your life with more distance.

Like Solomon a lecturer on Søren Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sartre and other said in the Oxford University press 20002:

Gratitude, I want to suggest, is not only the best answer to the tragedies of life. It is the best approach to life itself.

Historic role models: Napoleon Bonaparte role model of modern leadership?

Letting beside the cruel and interessting psychological dimension of Napoleon Bonaparte, his leadership style was astonishing modern and systemic.

In a way, he was ahead of his time.

Many of today’s leaders could learn from Napoeleon’s leadership style.

 His leadership principles were:

  1. „Never ask others what you are not prepared to do your self
  2. Be courageous
  3. Plan everything
  4. Establish clear objectives
  5. Be diplomatic
  6. Secure alliance and be loyal
  7. Search for facts and truth
  8. Intelligence is vital, set high standards
  9. Be fair, firm and flexible
  10. Maintain personal discipline
  11. Concentrate on primary objectives
  12. Stay in touch with your team
  13. Keep your promises
  14. Give credits for success
  15. Take responsibility for failure
  16. Prepair for victory and anticipate failure
  17. Be passionate, energetic enthusiastic
  18. Maintain „integrity“

Such thinking, principles and approaches can be found in the literature on leadership today.

(Source: https://scholar.valpo.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1389&c… )

Rethink linear causal-logical communication and move to effectuation communication

Effectuation comes from Sara Sarasvathy and means to think and act independently by using available resources with like-minded partners and stakeholders. The key is to use uncertainties and difficulties successfully and flexibly for one’s own ideas and tasks. This approach was developed for entrepreneurs to find solutions and making dessisions.

We all have learned to believe that communication is more linear causal logically as Schulz von Thun suggested with the „four sides of a message“ or Claude Shannon and Warren Weaver wth the „sender-receiver-modell„. This was in a traditional world with clear markets and hierarchies functional and effective.

Today knowledge is not only a privilidge of hieracical higher levels, as in the VUCA world (VUCA = volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity) everyone has the possibility to be expert. Nothing is clear and structured, which makes a linear causal logically thinking of communication is in my eyes not efficient to drive big changes or to transfer the orgainisation into a learning organization. Communication has other dimension, which are not considerd in the traditional models. These factors are for example mindset, thinking patterns, mindfulness and past situations, influence the outcome.

Perhaps the dynamic effectuation approach can be inspirational used for a „VUCA communication“, like I tried to illustrate in the picture:

To be aware in a communication that our own biases, assumptions and beliefes influence all of our communication and as well our own personal character and abilities has an influence in how we lead a conversation and what outcome will appear, we can interact with curiosity and open mind with others. It´s an adventure to listen to people with curiosity what you can discover from the person self. As this deep understanding will lead to an better outcome of the communication as more perspective will influence the solution.

Leading in the VUCA world

To become a true learning organization, it is important to give employees the opportunity to contribute their knowledge and share it within the organization. To do this, the current leadership style should be looked at critically.

Two leadership principles are readily applied in the VUCA world (volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity). These are the laisse faire and the self-management-team leadership style (see speadsheet). These two styles are very close and have many positive aspects, but they can create confusion and force micropolitical behavior.

Micropolitics: employees strive to increase their own power/influence in the organization in their own interest. This leads to informal rules of the game, social structures that can lead to informal power, and change behaviors in organizations.

My favorite model for leadership that fits best to the VUCA world is the systemic approach SANTIAGO (an acronym) by Prof. Dr. phil. Dr. h.c. Rolf Arnold. The basis of the leadership style is dialogic leadership with a humanistic, subject-oriented and systemic mindset. The attitude of the leaders is not to think they know or can do everything, but to develop solutions with the employees.

To lead in this way, eight principles are important:

  1. Surrogant (deputy) leadership: employees are trusted to lead themselves. Leadership is a dialogue in which individual human resources are developed. In this approach, leaders are more facilitators and motivators.
  2. Autopoiesis: this means that human beings are self-sustaining and self-organized. Leaders bring employees out of their own „autopilot“ by questioning, via further development. This moving out of the comfort zone must be accompanied and moderated.
  3. Never short-term (sustainability): through this approach, managers focus on the development of employees. This leads to medium and long-term effects on the organization and overall development.
  4. Transformation of interpretive patterns: Leaders in this approach understand their employees‘ interpretive thinking patterns that we have all built from our past experiences. Leaders guide employees to break and change these patterns and transform them into more appropriate interpretations, which means development for the employee.
  5. Interpretation: interpretation is individual and based on each person’s past. The leader must ensure that the different interpretations lead to successful cooperation and promote the development of the organization.
  6. Arrangement: In this approach, the leader creates a two-way teaching and learning environment (leader <=> staff). Employees are empowered, motivated and take responsibility for their development and business results. The basis for this kind of leadership is trust and regular dialogue, as well as an open-minded curiosity for the individual.
  7. Go with serenity: The leader needs a lot of serenity with this approach, because the acceptance and implementation of this leadership approach takes time and contradicts the learned patterns of traditional leadership. It is necessary to break through the patterns of interpretation.
  8. Organizational learning: Through staff development, the organization can learn. Organizational learning happens through the employees as part of the organization. The organization influences the employees, but it also works in the other direction. The behavior of the individual employee influences the organization.

To make sure that you are as a leader on the right way, ask your team anonymously, if these elements are lived by you. Have you every tried to get honest feedback from your employees regarding your leadership style?