Autor: Stephanie Voss

Experience, enthusiasm for current best practices and trends as a learning and development expert. Speaker, author of books and professional articles; honoured with various awards. Master of Arts in Adult Education as well as Organisational Development; Agile Culture Coach and Systemic Coach with a strong digital mind set, which combines the tried and tested with innovation; adept at assuming a key role in designing, promoting and implementing future-oriented and ambitious learning strategies, also in sensitising and inspiring interest and acceptance of Learning & Development at all hierarchical levels.

Our autonomic nervous system influences thoughts and feelings

Deb Dana and Deb Grant develop a model to illustrate the connection between emotion, thoughts (Psychology) and the effect of the autonomeous nervus system (Biology). (source: The Polyvagal PlayLab: Helping Therapists Bring Polyvagal Theory to Their Clients)

Deb Dana and Deb Grant This “ladder-model“ is build on Stephen Porges “Polyvagal Theory”. The three aspects emotion, thoughts and autonomeous nerveoussystem influence each other and are dependent from each other. By understanding these dependencies, actions can be derived that calm the autonomic nervous system and enable us to develop more lighter and uplifting thoughts and emotions.

The “ladder mapping” divided our modes into three phases:

Darkness:

Feelings that prevail for example: blurred, hopeless, loss of focus, numb, cold, hopeless, closed, helpless
Thoughts are for example: I am… invisible, lonely, lost, unlovable and the world around me is… cold, hostile, dark
From the autonomic nervous system the dorsal-vagal nervous system is active. Which leads to immobilization and freezing / stagnation. Through this the person can collapse.

Chaos

Feelings predominate for example: it is out of control, overwhelming, confusing, full of anger, confronting and the desire to run away
Thoughts that arise are for example: I am… different, crazy, unacceptable
The autonomic nervous system is the sympathetic nervous system. This has a mobilizing effect, creating a readiness to fight and curse

Balance

Feelings that prevail are for example: connected, warm-hearted, open, curious, committed, passionate, relaxed
Thoughts are: I am … okay and the world around me is full of possibilities and enriching
The active autonomeous nerves system is the ventral vagal part / smart vagus, which enables security and social interaction.

These three phases have parallels to the griefing / change phase according to Kübler Ross (source: change curve), There are five phases described:

Shock and denial, which is paralell to the „darkness-ladder“
Anger is equal to the „chaos-ladder“
Bargaining is between „Chaos-“ and „Balance-ladder“
Depression: Is going back to „Darkness-ladder“
Acceptance: at the end is the „Balanced ladder“

Tip to overcome better the „darkness-“ and „chaos ladder“:

The SMART vagus is activated in empathic conversations, which is why psychotherapy and coaching are very powerful. Whereby personal contact with people, in reallity and not virtually, is important for the unconciousness to „co-regulate“ and create the neurozeption. Neuroception activated the SMART vagus and stop the dorsal vagus and sympathikus. This happens only optimal when conversational partner meat real (not virtual) conversation, as this was learnd from the unconciousness through evolutrion. This happens through the autonomic nervous system (unconciousness), which scans constantly the environments and registers external stimuli. A positive facial expression, a friendly smile, people who take their time and do nothing but listen, a calm and relaxed voice are necessary to bring the autonomic nervous system out of immobilization or fight or flight. Singing and deep breathing is also supportive, as it has a calming down effect.

If you find yourself on the ladder of darkness or chaos, then seek a personal conversation with a person who is sympathetic to you and accepts and respects you as an individual, this will calm your autonomic nervous system.

Causes of gullibility

Who doesn’t know the rumor mill? Rumors and erroneous or even distorted statements last a long time and stick to the people at the center of the „gossip“ like tar.

A study by Ecker et al. in 2022 got to the bottom of „the psychological drivers of misinformation belief and its resistance to correction“. The researchers found that two factors play a role in gullibility. These are:

Cognitive factors, which differ as follows:

Intuitions that arise from a low level of analysis
Cognitive inaccuracy due to not applying one’s own knowledge and ignoring counter-evidence, as well as not asking for valid sources
Illusions of truth created by the familiar atmosphere and interactions, as well as the coincidence with one’s own experiences

2. Social factors, which differs as follow

Credibility of groups. Hierarchically higher and elites are believed more, attractive people are rated as more credible and one’s own social affiliation plays a decisive role.
World views such as one’s own party or personal views are decisive here
Emotions, if a message is presented emotionally, it is believed more, and one’s own emotional state also plays a decisive role.

Tip:

Before investigating the rumours again and accepting what has been said as all too true, it is better to talk to the people who were involved. Listen to them and make up your own mind about the facts.

It is also important to recognise that higher hierarchies, celebrities or people of high status are as flawed and ‚fallible‘ as anyone else.

The psychological drivers of misinformation belief and its resistance to correction | Nature Reviews Psychology

Inhalt meines ersten, veröffentlichen Buches

Dieses Fachbuch stellt einen praxiserprobten Kommunikationsansatz vor, der an der eigenen Haltung, bestehenden Glaubensmustern und dem Bewusstsein der unbewussten und autonomen Vorgänge ansetzt.

Unbewusste biologische Vorgänge, psychologische und soziale Aspekte haben einen großen Einfluss auf den Gesprächserfolg und entscheiden teilweise sogar über das gesamte Miteinander. Gerade die Kommunikation im Arbeitsleben ist herausfordernd.

Durch verschiedene Ansätze und Prinzipien, die die eigene Kommunikationskompetenz fördern wie Achtsamkeit, persönliche Führung, Wissen über Vorurteile und Glaubenssätze, Vertrauen, Wertschätzung und emotionale Intelligenz kann Kommunikation auf Augenhöhe gelingen.

Der Gesprächspartner wird durch aufmerksames Zuhören und neugierige Fragen angeregt, eine eigene Lösung zu entwickeln und intrinsisch motiviert zu handeln. Durch die Anwendung der vorgestellten Prinzipien werden die Gespräche im beruflichen Kontext optimiert und das Miteinander verbessert, da die Gespräche zu einem lösungsorientierten Verhalten führen, dessen Ergebnisse nachhaltig umgesetzt werden.

Das Erproben und Anwenden der neuen Form der Kommunikation kann dazu beitragen, dass sich Organisationen „von innen heraus“ verändern und zu Lernenden-Organisationen entwickeln. Wiederkehrende Beispiele aus dem beruflichen Kontext geben hilfreiche Hinweise für die praktische Umsetzung.

S.Voss Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen 2023. XIII, 301 S. 31 Abb. Brosch. € (D) 49,99 | € (A) 51,39 | CHF 55.50 978-3-662-67787-2 € 39,99 | CHF 44.00 978-3-662-67788-9 (eBook)

Self-critism and / or self-awarness?

Self-knowledge has a long history and is mentioned in Sanskrit „This is you“ and in the Temple of Delphi „Know thyself“. In psychology, it is the introspective analysis of one’s own thought patterns, interpretations, and character in order to find answers: What am I like? Who am I? It is about understanding the reasons for one’s behaviour and actions to be able to change them. (source: Selbsterkenntnis – Lexikon der Psychologie (spektrum.de ))

Self-criticism is looking critically at oneself and finding misbehaviour or shortcomings in oneself. The core question of self-criticism is: „Why did this happen? Why did I make this mistake?“ If a person names the shortcomings themselves, they will be more motivated to change them than if they are criticised by someone else. (source: Selbstkritik – Lexikon der Psychologie (spektrum.de ))

In this way, self-criticism is needed to build self-awareness, but it is limited because it focuses on a person’s shortcomings rather than their strengths. Self-awareness is a balanced approach that considers both the strengths and the weaknesses of the self. This has a more positive impact on the self than focusing solely on failures and areas for development, and has an impact on a person’s performance. The Gallup Institute suggests that focusing on strengths leads to six times greater emotional engagement in one’s work, employees are six times more likely to do what they do best every day, three times more likely to feel that their quality of life is excellent, and 8-18% higher performance, which increases turnover by 10-19% and profits by 14-29%. (source: Learn About the Science of CliftonStrengths | EN – Gallup ))

To create an environment of self-awareness rather than self-criticism, Tasha Eurich´s tip might be useful. Ask yourself and others questions that start with What…. rather than Why… . The why always looks backwards and seeks out the „culprit“. What looks forward and tries to find solutions. This allows for real reflection on what has happened.

Give more weight to the What in your everyday communication.

Define your value / worth in life

We often give more power to others to decide what value we have. In my eyes this should be different. I think it should always start with allowing ourselves to recognise and internalise our own value.

We tend to accept that our value is defined by the opinions of others, by our salary or by our status symbols. We rarely reflect on the skills we possess and who we are in terms of character. What value would we place on ourselves?

In my opinion, we must first value ourselves from within and define how we see our own worth, not measure our own worth through the eyes of others who can only judge from their own beliefs and value us by comparing us to what they are doing. Appreciation that comes from the outside has to be seen in the context of the situation. As an extreme example to illustrate my thoughts, surely the value that a mafia boss would define would be opposite to a clergyman on some issues.

When we begin to value ourselves, we will be able to value others in a non-judgmental way. If we begin to value ourselves, we will be more patient with others and less competitive, because we will have little or no need for the appreciation and recognition of others.

Our own appreciation and esteem for ourselves should be enough and weigh more than that of others.

I found this story, with thanks to Nadja Sandmann for posting the German version, which illustrates these thoughts very well: https://youtu.be/tb5iRxXahyI

Coaching is like a good (mental) fitness trainer

The main analogy is that the performance coach needs to be a role model.

Only when he/she shows the same attitudes, behavior and mindset what the performance coach wants to see at the employee, the employee will adapt it. When your sports trainer is not accurate in what he/she practise the mistake will be transferred to the participant.

The analog to a trainer and a performance coaching is

accountable partnership
process discipline
process goals
planning
review/ tracking / recording progress
attitude role modelling

Without a trainer / coach the most people would have achieved less of what they would have reached without a specialist accountability partner who ensures that the agreed process is rigorously followed, and that performance progress is tracked and visible.

There is an investment in an optional service with results that are exponentially better than if the individual or team went without focused and specialist support.

Positive psychology: Importance of meaning

Barbara Frederickson is well known as the pioneer for positive psychology in research explains with her colloquies in her latest article “Positive psychology in a pandemic: buffering, bolstering, and building mental health” which abilities helps us to stay positive even during the pandemic.

In the next articles I will summarize the key points of the recent publication of “The Journal of Positive Psychology”.

Meaning:

To have meaning in life means, to see sense of your live and the world around you. When you see your live as having inherent value and that is worth to live. Therefore, you need to have the three elements, which are:

coherence,
significance
purpose

Meaning is a foundational component of wellbeing like many studies show.

People who found their meaning in life:

are happier,
express more frequent and strong positive emotions,
endorse and use their character strengths more,
have more satisfying relationships
are viewed as more desirable potential friends,
help others more,
feel better subjective health,
report fewer health symptoms,
have better functioning immune systems,
lower levels of inflammatory cytokines,
engage in less risky sexual and substance behaviors,
show slower advancement of cognitive decline
Alzheimer’s disease,
live longer

(for reviews, see Cohen et al., 2016; Roepke et al., 2014; Steger, 2012)

Meaning plays an important role in

coping with stress,
trauma, and adversity,
including greater use of effective coping strategies, such as using cognitive reappraisal of stressors and
avoiding emotional suppression.

Meaning has both buffering against pessimism and building effects for Optimism.

Positive Psychology Part: Did you know that coping strategies could lower your stress level?

Stress is defined by Lazarus and Folkman (1984) as the internal or external demands appraised as taxing or exceeding the resources of the individual.

Studies shows that positive psychology can help you to increase the experience of positive cognition (e.g., positive reappraisal) and positive emotions (e.g., gratitude)

hold significant promise for helping people bolster their mental health.

These have demonstrated effects on a number of indicators of psychological well being such as:

positive affect
meaning and purpose
depression.

Study results suggest that positive psychology interventions have much to offer to help everyone cope better with both day-to-day stress as well as more major stressors.

If you ask yourself: Which positive psychology intervention are possible to integrate them into my daily business?

Here are some examples you could use with each other in your daily communication:

noticing positive events,
savoring,
gratitude,
mindful awareness,
positive reappraisal,
personal strengths,
acts of kindness,
self-compassion
appreciation and recognition

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Ghandi

Chocolate and its dark side

Chocolate in all combinations and tasts smile at you from every supermarket. But the sweet seduction also has its dark side. I’m not talking about dark chocolate, but about what researchers have recently discovered.

In a study of 1018 adults (694 men and 324 women) from San Diego, California, without diabetes or known coronary artery disease was studied in a cross-sectional analysis, wanted to find out whether depressive or depressive-prone people have an increased consumption of chocolate.

This was indeed proven. The higher the score for depression, the higher the chocolate consumption.

It is still unclear whether chocolate triggers depression or whether depression causes more chocolate to be eaten in order to activate serotonin production.

It’s just like Paracelsus said: „All things are poisons, for there is nothing without poisonous qualities. It is only the dose which makes a thing poison.“

Positive Psychology: The power of self-compassion to overcome adversity

Self -compassion means to treat your self with care, kindness and concern you would show to your be loved when they are struggling.

In this way, treat yourself like you would behave towards others.

Often we are more cruel and colder to our-self than to others. Self-compassion turns this around and we have against us compassion as well.

To be able to be compassion against our-self we need to be mindful with our feelings and pains we have.

There fore we have to observe them, accept them and acknowledge them instead of ignoring and suppress them. We need to look at the chance of the situation than to focus on how bad things are.

Instead of feeling isolated and lonely we should assume that nobody is perfect and has to deal by them self with challenges in their live.

This is what differentiates self- compassion from self-pity.

Instead of trying to replace bad feelings with ‘better’ ones, we can create sustainable positive emotions through dealing with our suffering with kindness and care. In this way both sort of feelings can be felt in parallel. Such friendly and benevolent ability helps us to come over the difficulties we are coping with and explain why self-compassionate people are happier, more optimistic, and satisfied with their lives than those who don´t care for them self.

From a scientific perspective strengthen such behaviour your immune system and enhances physical health by decreasing cortisol and increasing heart rate variability.