Kategorie: Positive Psychologie

“The greatest revelation is silence.” — Laozi

In our fast-paced world, silence often feels elusive, yet it is in these quiet moments that our best insights emerge. Laozi’s wisdom reminds us of the profound impact stillness can have on our lives. Just as children are encouraged to endure boredom to spark creativity, we too must embrace silence for reflection and innovation.

Fuchs (Fuchs, Katharina Anna (2014): Emotionserkennung und Empathie. Eine multimethodale psychologische Studie am Beispiel von Psychopathie und sozialer Ängstlichkeit, Wiesbaden, Deutschland: Springer Fachmedien.) identifies several forms of silence, each serving a unique purpose:

1. Silence as a Background to Speech: This type of silence enhances spoken words and creates space for future dialogue, emphasizing the importance of thoughtful pauses.

2. Silence as Indirect Communication: Unspoken understandings can convey more than words, inviting us to listen deeply and read between the lines.

3. Silence as a Break in Communication: Moments of surprise or shock can lead to a cessation of dialogue, allowing silence to express what words cannot.

4. Silence as a Shared Experience: This transcends verbal communication, fostering profound connections. Silence I creates a palpable tension directed toward the other, while Silence II dissolves this intentionality, allowing for a secure space where genuine relationships can develop. This „I-Thou“ relationship fosters implicit intersubjectivity, connecting individuals without specific intention.

Silence is essential for creation—whether it be new ideas or meaningful relationships. It allows for self-reflection and growth.

When was the last time you embraced silence? In a world that often prioritizes noise, let us not overlook the richness that silence can bring. By welcoming stillness, we open ourselves to insights that can transform our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

“Pay attention to the small things in the world; they make life richer and more satisfying.” — Carl Hilty

Each morning, when I wake up, my husband is usually already up. He often prepares a wonderful latte macchiato for me, with the right amound of milk and coffee. While this may seem like a small gesture, it never fails to bring a smile to my face and sets a positive tone for my day. When he doesn’t do it—usually only on the rare occasions when he hasn’t slept well or is feeling unwell—I feel the absence of that little ritual throughout the day.

Small moments of joy can come from the simplest things, like our dog resting his snout on my leg, asking to be petted, or the comforting presence of a loved one when I’m not feeling my best. I particularly cherish the little wonders in nature: the first ray of sunlight breaking through the leaves, casting a kaleidoscope of colors; a butterfly fluttering by; or a ladybug exploring a leaf. All of these moments enrich my life and bring me satisfaction.

These are the daily joys that we can appreciate, which are not to be taken for granted. While wealth and money can make life more comfortable and may provide a sense of security, do they truly make life richer in a fulfilling sense? I believe that very wealthy individuals can sometimes feel unsatisfied or even impoverished in spirit. They may wonder if the people around them are truly there for who they are or simply for their wealth and status.

Can a lavishly designed home provide the same happiness as a simple morning coffee shared with a loved one? Of course, one can enjoy both, but what ultimately matters are the small moments where we feel secure and free, allowing us to discover the wonders of the world.

Let us remember to cherish these little things, for they are what truly enrich our lives and bring lasting satisfaction.

“The world can only be good and pure if our lives are good and pure.” — Swami Vivekananda

This quote resonates deeply with me. It suggests that our actions stem from our attitudes and values. Our subconscious strives to align every action with a consistent behavior that reflects our beliefs. We tend to view ourselves in a positive light, often pushing aside any inconsistencies in our behavior. Instead, we reinterpret these discrepancies to maintain a sense of logic and coherence.

This tendency underscores why offering constructive feedback to others can often feel futile, particularly when trust is lacking. When someone’s actions seem inconsistent, the person acting may feel entirely justified in their behavior, believing it to be logical from their perspective. Yet, to an observer, these actions might appear irrational or in need of improvement.

In such cases, feedback may be necessary, but the recipient might be unable or unwilling to accept it. This highlights an important truth: we can only correct and examine our own behavior. It is essential for us to determine whether our thoughts and actions are pure and aligned with our values.

Maintaining awareness of our inner lives is crucial for nurturing the goodness we wish to project into the world. By doing so, we can positively influence the lives of others—not by direct intervention, but by activating their mirror neurons through our authentic actions.

As we embody the purity we seek, we naturally inspire those around us. This aligns with Albert Bandura’s social learning theory, which emphasizes the importance of learning through observation and modeling.

In a world often filled with negativity and chaos, let us strive to cultivate our inner lives. By fostering goodness within ourselves, we can create a ripple effect that touches the lives of others, ultimately contributing to a more positive and pure world.

How do you ensure that your actions reflect your values? Let’s share our insights and support one another on this journey of self-improvement and positive influence.

“Whoever wishes to live in peace with themselves must accept themselves as they are.” — Selma Lagerlöf

I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. When we struggle to accept our own nature and essence, we inevitably start to doubt our existence and the decisions we make. Our reactions are deeply rooted in our past experiences and how we have navigated the challenges life has thrown our way.

Living in doubt about our reactions and choices can feel like a boomerang, only causing more confusion and self-blame. Our behaviors and responses are influenced by our upbringing and personal history, each having its rationale. Every action, no matter how it appears, is a reflection of the individual behind it—provided, of course, that it does not involve wrongdoing.

The interpretation of our actions by others can lead to judgments and condemnation. At that moment, we might feel that we cannot change our reactions; however, we can analyze them later and strive to learn and grow from those experiences. This process is only possible if we forgive ourselves and make peace with our behavior.

Each of us must learn to accept ourselves as we are. There was a valid reason for our past actions, shaped by our experiences. We can learn from what has happened, but only if we do so with full self-acceptance. It is only in a state of kindness towards ourselves that we can understand the reactions of others and learn from them.

Failing to accept ourselves leads to self-blame and feelings of inadequacy. Living in acceptance of ourselves and our past means finding peace within ourselves and the world around us.

In a world that often demands perfection, let’s remember that true growth comes from embracing who we are—flaws and all. By cultivating self-acceptance, we not only foster our own inner peace but also create a more compassionate environment for those around us.

Let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery and acceptance together. How do you practice self-acceptance in your life?

“Always remember that everything is transient.” This quote from Socrates reminds us of life’s fleeting nature and invites us to reflect on what truly matters. In a world often driven by material pursuits, the realization of impermanence can help us focus on the essentials.

The Value of Individuality

When we accept that everything is transient, it becomes increasingly important to concentrate on what holds personal value for us. These values are as unique as we are. There is no universal “right” or “wrong”—each of us must decide for ourselves what brings meaning and fulfillment.

Material Things vs. Experiences

A central idea is that we cannot take material possessions with us. What endures are our experiences, our knowledge, and the love we have given and received. These aspects enrich our souls and accompany us on our life journeys. The beautiful moments and the lessons learned from dark times are what ultimately shape us.

Authenticity and the Cost of Staying True to Oneself

Being true to oneself often means swimming against the current. It can be painful to feel misunderstood or rejected. Yet, the price of authenticity is worth it; it gives us the assurance that we have done our best and stood by what we believe is right.

A Lasting Legacy

Ultimately, our true selves remain in the memories of the people we have touched. Do we want to be remembered as someone who always conformed, or as someone who stood firm in their values? The choice is ours.

Conclusion

Impermanence makes us brave. It encourages us to stand by ourselves and live out what is truly important to us. In a constantly changing world, with the right mindset and values, we can navigate life’s challenges and leave behind a meaningful legacy.

So let’s take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to us and live it with unwavering conviction!

The quote from Emily Dickinson, “Fortune favours the brave,” invites us to explore the intricate relationship between courage and happiness.

What is Happiness?

This question is one I find myself asking repeatedly, especially during the reflective period between the years. Is happiness built on monetary foundations, such as status symbols, or does it rely more on softer factors like acceptance, appreciation, recognition, and respect? The topic of happiness has long been a subject of discussion.

Lao Tzu (6th century BCE) suggested that happiness arises when we stop seeking it and cease pursuing other goals—asserting that absolute inactivity is the essence of happiness. In contrast, philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle (5th/4th century BCE) believed that true virtue—such as humility, justice, and honesty—leads to happiness. To achieve eudaemonia (flourishing), all actions should be aligned with virtuous principles. Epicurus (4th century BCE) viewed happiness as the experience of pleasure and the absence of pain; however, this perspective is often criticized as egocentric and reckless, known as hedonism.

Positive Psychology

Modern positive psychology posits that our thoughts and the way we evaluate and interpret situations contribute significantly to our happiness. One of the most well-known frameworks is Martin Seligman’s PERMA model, which stands for:

• Positive Emotions

• Engagement

• Relationships

• Meaning

• Accomplishment/Achievement

Interestingly, money only contributes to happiness when one is truly poor. Once basic needs are met, the feeling of happiness tends to plateau. A simple touch can activate the happiness centre in our brains; a banknote cannot do that. Researchers have found that married individuals are generally happier than those who are single, while activities like sports and partner dancing significantly boost happiness. Additionally, love is often associated with the highest levels of joy. Notably, the happiest people live in countries like Denmark, followed closely by Switzerland and Iceland, likely due to their long-standing democratic traditions and the extent to which citizens can participate in governance. In Bhutan, the focus is on increasing gross national happiness rather than gross domestic product.

Research also shows that more optimistic and, consequently, happier individuals exhibit a more active left frontal cortex compared to their less happy counterparts.

The Link Between Courage and Happiness

Why does Emily Dickinson assert that “Fortune favours the brave”? Is happiness not more about our mindset and how we perceive and experience life?

The relationship between happiness and courage is indeed complex. Courage can drive us to seek new experiences, take risks, and confront challenges—leading to personal growth and deeper feelings of happiness. When we achieve something through bravery, we often experience positive emotions and a sense of engagement or meaning in our actions. Bold decisions—whether in our careers, relationships, or personal development—often pave the way for meaningful experiences and connections that enhance our happiness.

Ultimately, happiness is a complex interplay of internal attitudes, ethical beliefs, and social relationships.

While courage certainly plays a role, it is also heavily influenced by our perceptions and how we choose to navigate life. It is a personal journey that each individual must shape for themselves.

The quote for this article comes from Democritus:

“Happiness dwells not in possessions and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul.”

The soul is the essence of who we are, residing within our bodies. It can grow, even when our physical bodies may not be able to after a certain age. The soul is shaped by our unique perspective on the world, the surrounding things, and the people we encounter. Therefore, the idea that happiness resides in the soul is truly profound. Everything external is transient—we can lose it through job loss, war, natural disasters, and more. However, who we are at our core can never be taken from us unless we allow it.

Each of us is the master of our own self, our soul, and we decide whether external circumstances can shake our inner peace. It is astonishing, yet whether something hurts us or someone wears us down ultimately lies within us. We can choose to dwell on certain thoughts for days, weeks, or months, or we can simply shake them off and move forward.

If we cling to possessions and wealth, we may find ourselves betraying our souls to maintain what we have. For example, if a government shifts from democracy to dictatorship, we face a choice: we can relinquish our wealth and possessions to invest in a future in another country, thereby protecting our soul and beliefs, or we can cling to our possessions and compromise our integrity by conforming to the dictatorship. Will this choice make us happier? Does it foster our growth and nourish our souls?

Ultimately, the decision often lies in the small choices we make daily. Will I remain true to myself, or will I submit to the opinions of others? This does not mean being arrogant or self-absorbed; rather, it means not being like a reed swaying in the wind, but instead being like a deeply rooted tree, standing firm in oneself.

Who do you want to be?

The quote for this article comes from Sibilla Aleramo: “Love was the reason for my existence and that of the whole world.”

This sentiment reminds me of a song I enjoyed singing during my time with the Student Mission Germany: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son.” How do we often express our love? Most of the time, we do so through gifts, trying to outdo ourselves year after year. But is this truly what love means? Does it sustain us through the winter months, when days are short and darkness looms? Does it warm our hearts and bring smiles to our faces?

God gave everything He had to show that His own well-being is less important than humanity’s. Love means accepting others as they are, supporting one another, and striving to grow together every day. It is not merely about being superficially present for each other; it involves truly listening, even if we’ve heard the same story ten times, and acting as if it’s the first time. It’s about brewing coffee in the morning and having it ready when someone wakes up.

Love is evident in small gestures. It does not mean trying to please everyone or contorting ourselves to fit in; rather, it is about being respectful and mindful towards one another. Love is unconditional and sets us free. To love the world means to accept it as it is while treating it with kindness and respect through our actions.

As we reflect on the true nature of love this holiday season, what can we do to show respect, mindfulness, and goodwill to the world—or at least to our small universe? Let us commit to embodying love in our daily lives, spreading warmth and kindness to those around us.

The quote for this article comes from William James:

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

Everything we do—or fail to do—has an impact. As Paul Watzlawick said, “One cannot not communicate.” Similarly, „we cannot not act.” Inaction can be just as detrimental as action. Professor Haller, an Austrian psychologist and psychotherapist, discusses in his book The Evil: The Psychology of Human Destructiveness the consequences of neglect and ignorance towards others, illustrating how they can lead to tragic outcomes. In such cases, inaction carries fatal consequences for both body and soul. Therefore, I fully agree with James’ quote.

However, the interpretation of our actions lies in the hands of others. One may act with the best intentions, motivated by positive desires for the well-being of all, yet be misunderstood or misinterpreted. For example, my daughter experienced significant heartbreak, prompting me to bake her a cake. Instead of appreciating the gesture, she asked, “Mom, did you bake this because you were upset?” I was taken aback, as I had never baked out of anger; my intention was simply to bring joy to my family.

This experience made it clear to me that if we want our actions to make a conscious difference, we should also communicate our intentions.

As we navigate our daily lives, how can we ensure that our actions are understood as we intend? Let’s strive to not only act but also to share our intentions openly, fostering understanding and connection in our relationships.

Manipulationstechniken sind allgegenwärtig, und in Krisenzeiten sind wir besonders anfällig für sie. Die eigene Charakterstärke spielt zwar eine Rolle, doch bestimmte Stimmungslagen machen uns empfänglicher, da viele dieser Techniken gezielt darauf abzielen, unsere Emotionen zu beeinflussen. Um nicht in die manipulative Falle zu tappen, ist es entscheidend, die gängigsten Methoden zu kennen und zu erkennen. Hier sind einige typische Manipulationstechniken und wie Sie ihnen begegnen können:

1. Angst erzeugen

Wenn wir uns Sorgen machen, kann eine Manipulation, die diese Angst verstärkt, besonders stark wirken. Ein Beispiel: „Ich verstehe, dass Sie Bedenken haben. Dafür bin ich hier, um diese Befürchtungen zu minimieren oder sogar zu verhindern.“ Diese Technik verstärkt den Wunsch, das Angebot anzunehmen. Fragen Sie sich stattdessen: „Was kann ich selbst tun, damit die Befürchtungen verblassen?“

2. Bewusste Fehlinformationen

Manipulatoren nutzen oft ausgedachte Beispiele, um Ängste zu schüren. „Das ist auch der Kollegin Frau Maier passiert; das scheint oft Wirklichkeit zu werden.“ Denken Sie daran: Emotionen sind individuell, und es gibt kein richtig oder falsch.

3. Bedürfnisse erwecken

Hier verspricht der Manipulator durch sein Angebot, eine Lösung zu schaffen: „Deswegen kommen andere Mitarbeiter zu mir. Durch mein Gespür für Gespräche kann ich die Situation ändern.“ Stellen Sie stattdessen die Frage: „Wie könnte ich diese Herausforderung selbst lösen? Wenn ich Unterstützung brauche, wen kann ich dann um Hilfe bitten.“

4. Nachfragedruck erzeugen

Ein künstlich formulierter Mangel kann dazu führen, dass Sie schnell zustimmen: „Wenn Sie jetzt nicht zuschlagen, kann ich Ihnen nicht garantieren, dass ich das Angebot aufrechterhalten kann. Wir sind sehr gefragt.“ Nehmen Sie sich Zeit: „Was brauche ich, um mit gutem Gefühl zu entscheiden?“ Machen Sie sich zur Angewohnheit immer noch eine Nacht darüber zu schlafen, bevor sie etwas zustimmen.

5. Gruppendruck

Die Meinung Dritter, besonders von höheren Hierarchie-Ebenen, kann den Eindruck erwecken, dass Ihre eigene Meinung unwichtig ist: „Alle unsere Seniorleader finden den Service hilfreich.“ Fragen Sie offen: „Wie ist mein eigener Eindruck oder meine Meinung dazu?“ Bei Verallgemeinerungen fragen Sie nach Ross und Reiter,

Geübte Manipulatoren nutzen unsere emotionale Lage aus, um daraus Gewinn zu ziehen. Daher ist es entscheidend, ihre Aussagen zu hinterfragen und zu prüfen, ob die Situation, die Ihnen Sorgen bereitet, wirklich bedrohlich ist oder ob es sich nur um eine temporäre Durststrecke handelt, die Sie mit eigener Kraft meistern können. Eine hilfreiche Regel hierfür ist die 3-2-1-Methode:

• In 3 Stunden: Ist es dann noch so bedrohlich?

• In 2 Monaten: Ist es immer noch bedrohlich?

• In 1 Jahr: Ist es dann noch bedrohlich?

Sorgen sollten Sie sich nur bei der 1-Jahres-Prognose machen. Alles andere können Sie, basierend auf Ihren bisherigen Erfahrungen, in der Regel selbst meistern.

Wenn Sie mehr über Manipulationstechniken erfahren möchten, werfen Sie einen Blick in mein Buch „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“. In Kapitel 6 gehe ich auf weitere Techniken ein, die Ihnen helfen werden, manipulative Einflüsse zu erkennen und zu vermeiden.

Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam lernen, diese Herausforderungen zu meistern und unsere Entscheidungen bewusst und selbstbestimmt zu treffen!