Kategorie: Balanced life

Self-critism and / or self-awarness?

Self-knowledge has a long history and is mentioned in Sanskrit „This is you“ and in the Temple of Delphi „Know thyself“. In psychology, it is the introspective analysis of one’s own thought patterns, interpretations, and character in order to find answers: What am I like? Who am I? It is about understanding the reasons for one’s behaviour and actions to be able to change them. (source: Selbsterkenntnis – Lexikon der Psychologie (spektrum.de))

Self-criticism is looking critically at oneself and finding misbehaviour or shortcomings in oneself. The core question of self-criticism is: „Why did this happen? Why did I make this mistake?“ If a person names the shortcomings themselves, they will be more motivated to change them than if they are criticised by someone else. (source: Selbstkritik – Lexikon der Psychologie (spektrum.de))

In this way, self-criticism is needed to build self-awareness, but it is limited because it focuses on a person’s shortcomings rather than their strengths. Self-awareness is a balanced approach that considers both the strengths and the weaknesses of the self. This has a more positive impact on the self than focusing solely on failures and areas for development, and has an impact on a person’s performance. The Gallup Institute suggests that focusing on strengths leads to six times greater emotional engagement in one’s work, employees are six times more likely to do what they do best every day, three times more likely to feel that their quality of life is excellent, and 8-18% higher performance, which increases turnover by 10-19% and profits by 14-29%. (source: Learn About the Science of CliftonStrengths | EN – Gallup))

To create an environment of self-awareness rather than self-criticism, Tasha Eurich´s tip might be useful. Ask yourself and others questions that start with What…. rather than Why… . The why always looks backwards and seeks out the „culprit“. What looks forward and tries to find solutions. This allows for real reflection on what has happened.

Give more weight to the What in your everyday communication.

Define your value / worth in life

We often give more power to others to decide what value we have. In my eyes this should be different. I think it should always start with allowing ourselves to recognise and internalise our own value.

We tend to accept that our value is defined by the opinions of others, by our salary or by our status symbols. We rarely reflect on the skills we possess and who we are in terms of character. What value would we place on ourselves?

In my opinion, we must first value ourselves from within and define how we see our own worth, not measure our own worth through the eyes of others who can only judge from their own beliefs and value us by comparing us to what they are doing. Appreciation that comes from the outside has to be seen in the context of the situation. As an extreme example to illustrate my thoughts, surely the value that a mafia boss would define would be opposite to a clergyman on some issues.

When we begin to value ourselves, we will be able to value others in a non-judgmental way. If we begin to value ourselves, we will be more patient with others and less competitive, because we will have little or no need for the appreciation and recognition of others.

Our own appreciation and esteem for ourselves should be enough and weigh more than that of others.

I found this story, with thanks to Nadja Sandmann for posting the German version, which illustrates these thoughts very well: https://youtu.be/tb5iRxXahyI

Positive psychology: Importance of meaning

Barbara Frederickson is well known as the pioneer for positive psychology in research explains with her colloquies in her latest article “Positive psychology in a pandemic: buffering, bolstering, and building mental health” which abilities helps us to stay positive even during the pandemic.

In the next articles I will summarize the key points of the recent publication of “The Journal of Positive Psychology”.

 Meaning:

To have meaning in life means, to see sense of your live and the world around you. When you see your live as having inherent value and that is worth to live. Therefore, you need to have the three elements, which are:

  1. coherence,
  2. significance
  3. purpose

 

Meaning is a foundational component of wellbeing like many studies show.

People who found their meaning in life:

  • are happier,
  • express more frequent and strong positive emotions,
  • endorse and use their character strengths more,
  • have more satisfying relationships
  • are viewed as more desirable potential friends,
  • help others more,
  • feel better subjective health,
  • report fewer health symptoms,
  • have better functioning immune systems,
  • lower levels of inflammatory cytokines,
  • engage in less risky sexual and substance behaviors,
  • show slower advancement of cognitive decline
  • Alzheimer’s disease,
  • live longer

(for reviews, see Cohen et al., 2016; Roepke et al., 2014; Steger, 2012)

 

Meaning plays an important role in

  1. coping with stress,
  2. trauma, and adversity,
  3. including greater use of effective coping strategies, such as using cognitive reappraisal of stressors and
  4. avoiding emotional suppression.

 

Meaning has both buffering against pessimism and building effects for Optimism.

Positive Psychology Part: Did you know that coping strategies could lower your stress level?

Stress is defined by Lazarus and Folkman (1984) as the internal or external demands appraised as taxing or exceeding the resources of the individual.

 Studies shows that positive psychology can help you to increase the experience of positive cognition (e.g., positive reappraisal) and positive emotions (e.g., gratitude)

hold significant promise for helping people bolster their mental health.

 These have demonstrated effects on a number of indicators of psychological well being such as:

  • positive affect
  • meaning and purpose
  • depression.

Study results suggest that positive psychology interventions have much to offer to help everyone cope better with both day-to-day stress as well as more major stressors.

 If you ask yourself: Which positive psychology intervention are possible to integrate them into my daily business?

Here are some examples you could use with each other in your daily communication:

  • noticing positive events,
  • savoring,
  • gratitude,
  • mindful awareness,
  • positive reappraisal,
  • personal strengths,
  • acts of kindness,
  • self-compassion
  • appreciation and recognition

 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Ghandi

Chocolate and its dark side

Chocolate in all combinations and tasts smile at you from every supermarket. But the sweet seduction also has its dark side. I’m not talking about dark chocolate, but about what researchers have recently discovered.

 In a study of 1018 adults (694 men and 324 women) from San Diego, California, without diabetes or known coronary artery disease was studied in a cross-sectional analysis, wanted to find out whether depressive or depressive-prone people have an increased consumption of chocolate.

This was indeed proven. The higher the score for depression, the higher the chocolate consumption.

It is still unclear whether chocolate triggers depression or whether depression causes more chocolate to be eaten in order to activate serotonin production.

 It’s just like Paracelsus said: „All things are poisons, for there is nothing without poisonous qualities. It is only the dose which makes a thing poison.“

Positive Psychologe: For the future we need courage!

Courage with which it is possible for us to overcome our fear, to be able to go new ways, to trust ourselves, to overcome our own limits, to live our own convictions, to be authentic, to master life, to grow personally, in short, to live in our personal courage zone.

 Courage is something different for everyone.

It means taking a risk to achieve a goal that is valuable to oneself. Therefor the proportionality plays an important role.

The relative proportionality of the risk compared to the value of the goal is based on the subjective assessment of the person taking or observing the action. Actions that are considered courageous by all are usually those where everyone agrees that the risk is significant, and the goal is valuable.

 Courage plays a special role in times of crisis or challenging situations to overcome them.

 If you like to reflect what the meaning of courage is to you, feel free to use the thought flower.

Positive Psychology: Power of Gratitude

To work in harmonious and force human flourishing you should be grateful and demonstrate gratitude to reach this aim. This is scientifically proven.

In order to get a positive emotional reaction to one’s own behaviour, it is necessary to promote goodness in itself through gratitude in and towards oneself.

Gratitude is well proven in many studies that this is beneficial for your well-being in the psychology, physical and spiritual level. Gratitude supports you to have in orientation in your life it lowers the stress level and increase the positive emotions, and through gratitude social relationship will flourish and maintain.

With your appreciation you support the interrelationship between each other.

Studies shows that gratitude helps you to overcome critical situations in live and see the tragic in your life with more distance.

Like Solomon a lecturer on Søren Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sartre and other said in the Oxford University press 20002:

Gratitude, I want to suggest, is not only the best answer to the tragedies of life. It is the best approach to life itself.

Mindful or mind full

The definition of mindfulness from Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of it, is:

 ”Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non judgmentally; knowing what you are doing while you are doing.”

 During vacation it´s easier to be mindful with our selves.

  • We relax and calm down (e.g. enjoying the sun)
  • We are more curious and try to discover new things (e.g. visiting museums)
  • We are more present (e.g. hiking in the nature)
  • We are open for new perspectives (e.g. travelling to new districts / counties)

 This effect we can reinforce, through:

  1. Try something new
  2. Get out from behind the camera – be present
  3. Play
  4. Practice gratitude every single day
  5. Do less
  6. Enjoy process, not just the outcome
  7. Step away from electronics
  8. Take the opportunity to really connect with others
  9. Spend some time alone

 I´m curious to learn from you:

What are you doing during your tome off to relax and calm down?

How do you practice mindfulness during your vacation?

What are your secrets and recommendation to come relaxed back from vacation to work?

Study: Gender difference in building self-confidence

In an 2020 IFD Allensbach study (IfD – Institut für Demoskopie Allensbach (IfD) (ifd-allensbach.de)), 800 women and 800 men were asked: „What people draw their self-confidence from varies greatly. According to your observations, what does it particularly depend on whether women / men are self-confident? What from this list is particularly important?“

On top one for men was „success at work“ with 82% builds their confidence, followed by „finances“ at 77%. On top one for women was „popularity“ with 74% builds their confidence, followed by „good looks“ 72% Women answered only 66% that „success at work“ is important to their confidence.

Men want almost equal amounts of „recognition from women“ (51%) and „recognition from men“ (45%). Women voted differently in terms of gender. „Recognition from men“ supports self-confidence more (45%) than from „recognition from women“ only with (29%).

One assumption of the last fact could be that gender equivalence is more ingrained in the minds of men than in the minds of women. Women seem to value the recognition of men more than that of women (maybe this is just a wrong interpretation of a statistic 😉 ).

What is your opinion on this interesting fact?