Two sides of feedback

Feedback is the result of the comparison between the target and actual state by a second person.

If the assessment of the state between actual and target is the same in the eyes of the second person, then the feedback is positive. The feedback recipient receives recognition and appreciation. The difference is that recognition refers to performance and appreciation refers to personality.

If the target and actual state do not match on the part of the feedback giver, the feedback receiver is criticized. We can learn from both. From the positive perceived feedback, we learn to conform.

From the negative perceived feedback, the criticism, we can learn where a second person sees improvements for us. Studies have shown that negative feedback, criticism, can lead to improved performance (Kluger & DeNisi 1996).

With any feedback, it is important to understand that the source of the feedback is the second person and their own construct.

If the feedback is given with good intentions and no hidden agenda, it is a fantastic resource for the feedback receiver to learn from.

However, feedback can also be part of:

  • Instrumentalization in the form of manipulation techniques, such as false compliments or in the worst case with the intention of humiliation.
  • Projection of one’s own behaviour, this happens unconsciously, the feedback giver’s own behaviour is transferred to the feedback receiver.

Examine the mindset with which feedback is given and consider whether you can learn from it or whether it is done in an instrumentalized way. 

In this way, the feedback receiver has the chance to learn twice:

  1. About the self: How others, especially the feedback givers, observe and evaluate feedback receiver own behaviour.
  2. About the feedback giver: With the feedback, the construct of the feedback giver will be uncovered.

For further information read this article Valence of feedback (positive vs. negative feedback)

Methodology „H-O-E-R“ to turn exception into daily behaviour

„H-O-E-R“ is an acronym and stands for deep listening a method of coaching, which is also helpful for systemic leaders or for self coaching. If you use it for self-coaching, replace employee through yourself.

H stands for hearing out to the exception (s)

O stands for make it more open / expand it. Ask the employee what is the positive exception to the challenge or problem. Ask the employee when and how the exception appear or what happened during or before the exception and which role the employee had.

E is empowerment and strengthen the employee stronger the success and own power. The main part of the leader is to observe and recognize. When the positive exception to the challenges happened, and give the employee natural compliments when the leader observes that the obstacles could be overcome.

R is to go back and reflect, through questioning the employee, what changed in a more positive way through the exception. The question is: „What else?“

This methodology is origin from Peter De Jong and Insoo Kim Berg from the book „Interviewing for solution“.

The „Diamond of life-span“

Different studies have shown that it is possible to live a better life in old age.

Various aspects and actions, as well as collaborative relationships between people, increase well-being and positive mindset in old age. These found patterns are called the relationship matrix.

The four pillar of the relationship matrix are from each other dependent. All together are called „the diamonds of life-span“.

These pillars of „the diamond of life-span“ are:

  1. Relationship resources: Neighbors, friends, acquaintances, positive people of the past, where dialogs are still happened in the mind, belong to this group.
  2. Personal health / well-being: this are the medical standards and the personal view on the own health.
  3. Positive mindset: The individual happiness, optimism and well being of the own life
  4. Activity: The active participation on mental and body activities

These four pillars influence each other and interact with each other.

Here are some influences of the relationships, which are through research proven:

Relationship resources <=> personal health / well-being

People with good relationship are active together, caring for each other. Studies showed that recovery from a mental or physical illness are faster when strong positive emotional relationship are there. People are more willingly to go to physician, when a partner is on their side. To make new acquaintances happens easier when you feel healthy.

Relationship resources <=> positive mindset

Positive relationships build self-confidence and support to build meaningful goals as well give solace in heavy times. Positive attitude towards life and your self leads to more empathy, love, friendliness, and indulgence. This together improves and deepen relationship.

Positive mindset <=> activity

Positive mindset leads to trust and optimism. Activities leads to positive memories and happier feelings. Activities is in relation to satisfaction

Positive mindset <=> personal health / well-being

Researcher is convinced that positive mindset leads to personal health and well-being. In a nun study researcher found that positive emotions written in a youth diary leads to an older age. Nuns which express fewer positive emotions in the youth died to 54% under the age of 80. Compared with the nuns with positive emotions in their diary only 24% died under 80

Personal health / well-being <-> activity

Personal health enables more activity, and more activity leads to better health.

Relationship resources <-> activity

Relationship invites to more activities. This extent the own interests and creates curiosity. An active live lead to more social activities and supports in this way the relationship.

Looking at the four pillars the most important of this is the relationship to others, as this is the source for well-being and a healthy aging.

Let this diamond shine over your lifespan.

To read more about it, klick here

What is the reason of gullibility?

We all know that rumours and allegations are often long-lasting. False insinuations spread via spoken words or facial expressions and gestures persist in the organization for a long time, even if the facts and data refute them. Researchers discovered social and cognitive factors that explain the persistence of rumours and allegations.

These are here summarized:

Cognitive factors

1. Intuition („gut feeling“) through:

  • Little analysis
  • Less analytical thinking

2. Cognitive inaccuracy due to:

  • References to sources are neglected or forgotten
  • Own knowledge is not applied
  • Counter-evidence is neglected  

3. Illusory truth:

  • Familiarity of information
  • Fluency
  • Cohesion with own experience

Social factors

1. Credibility of groups through:

  • Hierarchies (elites)
  • Degree of attraction / attractiveness
  • Own social affiliation

2. World views through

  • personal views
  • Affiliation to a party

3. Emotions

  • One’s own emotional state
  • Information itself is presented emotionally

The whole study can be found under this link: Eckert et al.

The power of words, especially in a virtual conversation

In a virtual conversation, body language and facial expressions are limited. Especially since the cameras record us two-dimensionally, which does not correspond to our learned patterns. Evolutionarily, we have learned to read non-verbal signals on a three-dimensional person in order to build psychological safety and gain trust.

That’s why it’s important to focus on verbal (our words) and para-verbal communication (social sounds, e.g. „hmm“) in a virtual conversation.

Words evoke emotions and through these physical reactions.

Words that trigger emotions also lead to a physical reaction, just as facial expressions or sounds can. Words that are read or heard and associated with smiling, for example, lead to smiling in the perceiver.

Mirror neurons / resonance leads to the fact that emotions of observed persons are also physically comprehended. In cognitive tasks, physical change does not occur.

Some physical sensations coupled with individual emotional experiences are stored as somatic markers.

Somatic markers are emotional memory stores of experiences combined with body signals. These body signals emit evaluation signals, such as „positive, aim for“ and „negative, avoid“. Somatic markers express themselves with physical sensations and/or feelings. Immediately, when a signal reaches the person, these markers emerge, which are necessary to decipher

The somatic markers are activated through two pathways:

1. body loop: when the emotion is activated, the appropriate bodily state arises directly.

2. as-if-body loop: as-if-body loop, when memories, thoughts or ideas are evoked. These lead to the appropriate physical emotion arising (conversely, it is a physical anchor).

3. Words can trigger both loops. Accordingly, words influence behavior patterns/actions as well as emotions.

Since neuroception an co-regulation, which are biological process to reduce stress signals through the influence on autonomous nervous system (Polyvagal Theory from Stephen W. Porges), are only possible to a limited extent in a virtual conversation, the choice of words in a virtual environment is crucial, since words can trigger emotions. If words are increasingly chosen that evoke positive emotions, co-regulation can take place via this route.

„The Berlin Affective Word List Reloaded“ (BAWL-R) provides an overview of words that show emotional valence, imaginability, and emotional arousal. To learn more about the power of words, you find the BAWL-R under this link, https://osf.io/hx6r8/

What is decisive for success? Is it IQ, social background, or talents?

Angela Duckworth investigated this question and found out that although these are important factors, success is decided by something else. She called this ability Grit.

People with Grit have the following characteristics:

  1. An unusual zeal for work
  2. A high degree of immunity to setbacks
  3. An inner conviction
  4. The knowledge of their own goals and visions

Grit is a combination of passion and determination that makes something special out of people.

This resulted in two formulas:

Talent x Commitment = Ability

Ability x Commitment = Success

With the help of a simple test (https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-scale/), you can find out how high your Grit Score is. 

 For those, who would like to listen to Angela Duckworth TED talk. Please use this link. (https://youtu.be/H14bBuluwB8)

The person you are talking to subconsciously has an influence, if you are relaxed or stressed

Did you felt powerless or full of anger and aggression? Would you like to go into a small mouse hole to be not seen or shouting with some one?

Than your autonomous nevus system has control over you.

The evolution shows that human beings (mammals) can stop such reactions through eye contact, calming voices, deep breathing, and a friendly face you are looking into. This is called co-regulation, which happens through the nevus vagus specially the smart vagus. This is the Polyvagal Theory from Stephen W. Porges.

To understand the power and influence of our autonomous nervous system, please watch this short video: https://youtu.be/ZdIQRxwT1I0

The five Toltec promises

From Don Miguel Ruiz

1. Let your words be blameless: This means be integer what you say, which is the case when you are honest in what you are thinking without attacking the conversational partner verbally. This means as well without manipulation, lying or cheating. (Asserting without attacking)

2. Don’t take anything personally: If you take something personally, you will behave ego-driven and lose your own balanced integrity. The person who has hurt you, thus, gains power over your behaviour. 

3. Do not draw hasty conclusions: Take it like Socrates, „I know that I know nothing.“. Our own assumptions are related to our experiences, not to the now.

4. Always do your best: When you have a project, do the best you can with all your energy and knowledge. When you have done it, let it go. Don’t Think about it any more, doubt or criticize what you have done. Perfectionism is often a lack of self-confidence and creates lasting dissatisfaction.

5. See your projects as continuous learning: Problems are always only an interpretation of the situation we are experiencing. Situations are neutral in themselves, it is our assumptions and interpretations, coming from our experiences in the past, which judge them. The own judgement have an effect by generating feelings and emotions, which drives our behaviour and at the end the result. Problems always hold the possibility to learn, grow and develop. 

Positive Psychology „Broaden-and Build-Theory“

Barbara L. Fredrickson developed the “Broaden-and Built-Theory“.

The key essence of this theory is, that positive emotions

  • enhance our thinking and awareness,
  • can reduce negative emotive states
  • will support developing psychology resilience
  • can support you to build own abilities
  • increase well-being
  • encourage own development

 Positive emotions in one’s own life and in the life of your conversational partners leads to

  • a good feeling
  • changes us to the better self
  • leads to a healthy life and prosperity

 Positive emotions lead you into a generalized, attitude that leads to more creativity and resilience. This creates a variety of complex possibilities for you.

 In the absence of positive emotions, further development will hardly be possible. One impact is on your freedom to determine one’s own behavior is lost, and we will stay in our pain through negative emotions. To stop this down-spiral, positive emotions are needed, as when they are in excess, the positive emotions support us to grow beyond ourselves.

The „Broaden-and-Build Theory“ demonstrates that positive emotions make us grow beyond ourselves and increase our own well-being.

Do you have ideas, on how you can create positive emotions on a daily basis?

When you are interested in the publication of Barbara L. Fredrickson, please klick on this link: 15347528.pdf (nih.gov)

About me, Stephanie Voss

Profile

Proven track record in leading Learning & Development roles, cross-industry experience, enthusiasm for current best practices and trends. Speaker, author of books and professional articles; honoured with various awards.

Special expertise:

  • Define and implement learning and development strategies emphasising agile learning while focusing on knowledge transfer usability and applicability for learners and also tangibly impacting business results.
  • Create modern learning environments aligned with strategy and future needs.
  • Initiate change processes and support agile transformations including adapting and refining employee qualifications based on continuous learning and new digital learning forms.
  • Develop and implement training and continuing education measures using state-of-the-art methods, approaches and tools, moderate workshops, coach executives.
  • Organisational optimisation based on economic and social/human core values aimed at modern, high-performance corporate culture.

Master of Arts in Adult Education as well as Organisational Development; Agile Culture Coach and Systemic Coach with a strong digital mind set, which combines the tried and tested with innovation; adept at assuming a key role in designing, promoting and implementing future-oriented and ambitious learning strategies, also in sensitising and inspiring interest and acceptance of Learning & Development at all hierarchical levels.

Education

Organisational Development (Distance Learning)                                                             10.2017 — 9.2021

Kaiserslautern University of Technology, Germany

Master of Arts Degree

Agile Culture Coach                                                                                                    
10.2018 — 3.2019

Synnecta

Systemic Coach and Change Manager                                                                            11.2015 —12.2016

INeKO – Institutes at the University of Cologne, Germany

E-learning Facilitator & Designer                                                                                    04.2018 — 7.20140

Office for Continuing Education at the University of Hamburg, Germany

Adult Education (Distance Learning)                                                                                10.2010 — 10.2014

Kaiserslautern University of Technology, Germany

Master of Arts Degree

Oecotrophology                                                                                                          10.1990 — 9.1997

Christian-Albrechts University Kiel, Germany

Diploma

Additional Knowledge & Miscellaneous

Languages                    Native German speaker, business fluent English

Publications                 
1. „Lernen auf den Kopf gestellt“ Healthcare Marketing 10/2015
2. „Gesundheit und Arbeit 4.0“ by Professor Dr. Matusiewicz; specific article: „Stärkung der Work Life Balance durch Blended Learning Konzepte“, published by medhochzwei Verlag in autumn 2018
3. Die Bedeutung der Stimm- und Körperpräsenz Organisationsentwicklungen und ihre virtuellen mündlichen internen Kommunikationen. Die Bedeutung der Stimm- und Körperpräsenz GRIN Verlag · 31. Dez. 2021
4. „Omnichannel im Pharma-Vertrieb Grundlagen, Benchmarks und Beispiele für den Pharma-Außendienst“ von Elke Schwarz
a) „E-Mail-Absender „Pharma“: Wie Omnichannel-Manager personalisierte E-Mails als Türöffner nutzen können“
b) „Nachhaltige Veranstaltungen der Pharmaindustrie: Quantensprünge erreichen mit virtuellen und hybriden Formaten“ Springer Gabler Verlag 2021

Awards                        
Human Excellence Award 2014, category: „Learning and Development Strategy”
Human Excellence Award 2015, category: „Knowledge Management”