Monat: November 2024

Die Kunst der Gesprächsvorbereitung: Schlüssel zu erfolgreicher Kommunikation

Gesprächsvorbereitungen sind das A und O einer gelungenen Kommunikation, sei es im beruflichen Kontext oder im privaten Bereich. Egal, ob wir überzeugen, etwas verkaufen oder einfach nur das Ohr des Gegenübers gewinnen möchten – die Vorbereitung spielt eine wesentliche Rolle.

Viele von uns haben an Rhetorikseminaren oder Verkaufstrainings teilgenommen, wo wir gelernt haben, offene und geschlossene Fragen zu stellen und Kernbotschaften klar zu vermitteln. Oft wird ein Fragenkatalog erstellt, den wir wie eine Checkliste abarbeiten, während wir verschiedene Überzeugungstechniken anwenden. In meiner Zeit im Außendienst erinnere ich mich an NLP-Kurse, die uns zeigten, wie man „Ja-Treppen“ einsetzt, um Zustimmung zu erhalten. Doch Kunden mögen solches Verhalten selten. Wenn sie schließlich zustimmen, geschieht dies oft nur so lange, bis der nächste Berater die Türschwelle betritt.

Eine wirkungsvolle Gesprächsvorbereitung erfordert jedoch einen anderen Ansatz. Es geht nicht nur darum, Techniken zu verwenden, sondern auch darum, eine kreative Gesprächsatmosphäre zu schaffen. Ein wichtiger Aspekt ist das Aktivieren des „Smart Vagus“, das zur Ausschüttung von Oxytocin führt – dem Hormon, das Vertrauen und Verbundenheit fördert.

Ein weiteres Schlüsselelement ist die eigene Haltung und Einstellung. Wie sehe ich meine Rolle im Gespräch? Was sind meine Absichten, und wie stehe ich zum Gesprächspartner? Hierbei hilft es, sich der eigenen Vorurteile und Interpretationen bewusst zu werden und die Dynamiken innerhalb der Gruppe zu erkennen. Eine Haltung des Wachstumsdenkens zu entwickeln, ist entscheidend.

Das dritte, entscheidende Element ist die persönliche Führung. Ich muss mir meiner eigenen Stärken und Schwächen bewusst sein und wissen, wer ich bin – mit meinen Wünschen und Ängsten. Nur so kann ein ausgewogenes Gespräch entstehen, in dem zusammen Lösungen entwickelt werden, die nachhaltig verankert werden.

Für einen genaueren Zusammenhang und weitere Einblicke in diese Themen können Sie in meinem Buch „Erfolgreich Gespräche im Berufsalltag führen – Der Einfluss von Haltung, Deutungsmustern und Unterbewusstsein auf Gesprächssituationen“ nachlesen, insbesondere im Kapitel 2. https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-662-67788-9

Insgesamt zeigt sich, dass erfolgreiche Kommunikation weit über Techniken hinausgeht. Sie erfordert Selbstreflexion, Empathie und die Fähigkeit, Beziehungen aufzubauen. Lassen Sie uns gemeinsam an unserer Gesprächskompetenz arbeiten und die Kunst der Vorbereitung meistern!

The Power of Stillness: Kierkegaard and the Journey of Self-Reflection

The quote for today comes from Søren Kierkegaard: „When everything is quiet, the most happens.“ Kierkegaard was a philosopher and a pioneer of existentialism, a philosophical movement rooted in humanism. This philosophy addresses questions of existence and meaning, emphasizing the dimension of time rather than seeking universally valid answers. It focuses on the individual, stripped of norms, values, roles, and other external characteristics.

Philosophers of this movement assert that individuals have a duty to question themselves and embark on a journey of self-discovery. A person can only be free and autonomous if they choose to be so, recognizing themselves as temporal and finite beings. The present moment, the „now,“ holds central significance. The actions that define who a person is at this moment determine their essence. Through personal will and the freedom to choose, one’s identity and autonomy emerge, making interpersonal connections more meaningful.

In this context, I find Kierkegaard’s quote particularly intriguing. Self-reflection, the development of the self, can only occur in stillness. In the chaos and turmoil of our VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, we often lack the opportunity to question ourselves and our actions, which is essential for learning and growth. It is in silence that the most profound developments can take place.

A valuable tool for such reflection is Miller, Sherod & Phyllis´s Wheel of Awareness. (https://primarygoals.com/teams/models/awareness-wheel/) This method encourages individuals to reflect quietly on the following levels:

  1. Sensory Perceptions: What did I perceive solely through my senses, without judgment or interpretation?

  2. Thoughts: How did I interpret and evaluate the situation? What thoughts came to me?

  3. Feelings: How did I feel afterward?

  4. Intentions/Wishes: What did I want to do next? What were my desires?

  5. Behaviour: How did I react? What actions did I take based on my interpretations?

Once these questions are addressed, the reflection deepens by asking how the situation could have been interpreted differently. What evaluations might have varied? This process continues through each point, starting with feelings: If I had evaluated the situation— which is inherently neutral— differently, how might I have felt? Think then on the impact of the following questions regarding intentions and behaviour.

The Balance of Ambition: Embracing Consequences

Denzel Washington says, “If you pray for rain, you have to deal with mud. It’s part of the deal.” This quote illustrates that every action we take has consequences—both positive and negative. Washington often speaks about the challenges and efforts associated with pursuing goals and dreams. When we strive for growth, change, or success, we must also take responsibility for the unwanted consequences that come with it.

In this sense, the “rain” symbolizes the positive outcomes we desire, while the “mud” represents the difficulties and complications that can arise from our ambitions. Depending on the soil conditions—meaning the circumstances and environment—a small amount of rain can lead to mud, while in other conditions, a lot of rain is needed to produce similar effects.

This metaphor shows that excessive pressure or thoughtless actions can lead to negative consequences. If we cling too stubbornly to our goals without considering the perspectives and needs of others, it can act like a boomerang: our actions return to us in the form of resistance or misunderstandings.

Ultimately, it requires a balance between determination and consideration to achieve both personal and communal progress. If we handle our ambitions wisely, we can foster the growth we desire without neglecting the unwanted side effects.

It is crucial to find a balance between determination and consideration for others. By working together towards our goals, we can not only achieve personal success but also create an environment where everyone can thrive.

Reflect on your own goals and ask yourself: How can you ensure that your pursuit of success benefits others as well? Share your thoughts with your team or network!

Embracing Hope: A Reflection on Renewal

Today’s quote is a wisdom from the Native Americans: “Never despair. Days pass like autumn leaves flying in the wind, and the days return with a clear sky and the splendor of the forests. Every seed is awakened anew, and so life unfolds.”

This is a beautiful and uplifting message. It’s easy to say “never despair,” but when fears and doubts rush in like a hungry wolf, it can feel overwhelming. Yet, this quote reminds us to stay grounded, to reflect on our strengths, and to trust in our resilience.

We can do this by recalling moments of success, joy, self-acceptance, and self-love. The moments of fear and doubt will pass, just like the autumn leaves swept away by the wind. There will come a time when those anxieties and uncertainties fade. Each day can unfold differently if we let go of the clouds from yesterday and consciously choose not to cling to them. By opening our eyes to the wonders around us, no matter how small—like a ladybug on the window or a vibrant red leaf—we invite positivity into our lives.

Every day presents us with a fresh opportunity to start anew, to make courageous choices, and to embrace new beginnings. Just as the quote suggests, each day holds the potential for something to end, like the falling leaves, but it also holds the promise for new growth and blossoming. Perhaps a seed that has long been dormant can finally break through to the surface.

Let’s focus on the positive. When has something wonderful happened to you out of nowhere? For me, it was the pregnancy with my first child. I had almost given up hope and was saving for a dog instead. Then, quite unexpectedly, I found out I was pregnant, as if from “nothing.” This marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life, one that arrived so suddenly. (And yes, I eventually got a dog too!)

Let us embrace the unexpected joys that life brings, knowing that each day is a chance for renewal and growth.

Embracing Success: The Power of Vision Boards

Ernst Bloch, the German philosopher and social theorist, is known for his philosophy of hope. He emphasized that dreams and desires—our utopias—are the driving force behind our actions and can lead to societal change. Bloch’s ideas have had a lasting impact on culture in the fields of art, literature, and political theory.

The Power of a Vision Board

A practical example of being in love with success is creating a vision board. On a vision board, we visualize our desired utopias—our wishes, dreams, life goals, and yearnings—by creating a collage of images and words. This creative activity helps clarify our goals and activates our subconscious to bring these visions to life.

How a Vision Board Works

A vision board encourages a more conscious and focused perception of our environment. By visualizing our desires, we are quicker to recognize opportunities and more motivated to seize them. This relates to the confirmation bias, which leads us to select information that supports our expectations. If we believe in our failure, we tend to notice only setbacks, negatively impacting our emotions and demeanor.

Conversely, a positive attitude leads to greater self-confidence—manifested in an upright posture, strong voice, and firm handshake. People with a positive outlook tend to attract like-minded individuals, which aligns with the so-called excellence phenomenon: top-notch leaders attract and retain top employees. Those who embody excellence seek inspiration at eye level to further develop themselves, while mediocre leaders often perceive high achievers as a threat.

Conclusion

When we are in love with success, we cultivate the intrinsic motivation to achieve excellence. We naturally attract exceptional people into our lives—a win-win situation for everyone involved.

Question for the Readers: How do you implement utopias in your professional life to achieve your goals? What steps can you take to visualize and realize your visions?

Today’s Reflection: Embracing Inner Stillness

Today’s quote comes from Swami Sivananda: “Just as the bottom of a lake becomes clearly visible when the surface waves settle, so too can the true self be perceived when the fluctuations of the mind calm.”

Only when we find stillness and become fully present with ourselves can we truly recognize who we are. In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, this has become increasingly challenging. We are bombarded with a constant stream of news, facts, and information. Even in everyday life, choices have multiplied; in supermarkets, for instance, we now face entire aisles filled with countless varieties of jam, rather than just four or five options.

Take a look at today’s youth: they often juggle multiple digital devices simultaneously. One screen might be playing music or a movie while another is used for homework or gaming. In restaurants, people no longer simply engage in conversation; they send messages, respond to notifications, and read texts—all while dining together. Even parents out for a stroll with their children often find themselves on the phone, chatting with friends. The focus on genuine human connection has sadly become an afterthought.

This is unfortunate because true connection with others can only be discovered when we tune out distractions and concentrate fully on the person in front of us. We now know that multitasking is not effective, yet we continue to act as if it is possible.

But the quote speaks to something deeper: in extreme situations, it can be nearly impossible to be ourselves. Just as turbulent waves hide the lake’s depths, intense emotions can obscure our true selves, making it hard to feel who we really are. This is why it is crucial to return to the present moment, consciously focusing on now and letting everything else fade away.

Breathing slowly and deeply can be a powerful way to calm those waves. In that moment of tranquility, our true selves re-emerge.

The same principle applies to our interactions with others: when we genuinely engage with someone, we can sense their true self—provided they are open to it. Let’s prioritize the moment and focus on what truly matters: ourselves and those around us. By doing so, we can cultivate deeper connections and rediscover the essence of who we are.

Erscheint 2025: Arbeitstagungen mit Großgruppen erfolgreich partizipativ gestalten

Bald ist es soweit! 2025 erscheint mein neues Buch:

Arbeitstagungen mit Großgruppen erfolgreich partizipativ gestalten Grundlagen und konkrete Einsatzmöglichkeiten in der Organisationsentwicklung

In diesem Fachbuch zeige ich, wie Arbeitstagungen in Großgruppen partizipativ und erfolgreich gestaltet werden können. Viele Teilnehmende empfinden herkömmliche Formate als wenig hilfreich. Wenn Arbeitstagungen im Großgruppen-Format partizipativ gestaltet werden, bringen sie Menschen zusammen und bereichern Entscheidungen durch vielfältige Perspektiven.

Das Buch beleuchtet die Grundbedingungen für Großgruppenmethoden in der Organisationsentwicklung und Erwachsenenbildung und stellt essenzielle Rollen für eine partizipative Gestaltung solcher Tagungen vor. Praxisnah erläutere ich die sechs populärsten und interessantesten Großgruppenmethoden, die ich in meinen fast 20 Jahren als Erwachsenenbildner selbst durchgeführt habe: Future Search Conference, Open-Space-Technology, Real-Time-Strategic-Change, World Café, Appreciative Inquiry Summit und Barcamp.

Der Inhalt umfasst:

  • Partizipative Gestaltung von Arbeitstagungen

  • Rollen und Auftragsklärung

  • Tipps zur Planung und Durchführung

  • (Hybride) Großgruppen-Methoden

  • Evaluation und nachhaltiger Erfolg

Lassen Sie sich inspirieren und entdecken Sie neue Wege für erfolgreiche Arbeitstagungen! Tauchen Sie ein in meine beinahe 20-jährige Erfahrung in der Erwachsenenbildung und lernen Sie, wie man mögliche Herausforderungen bei der Konzeption meistern kann.

Einen großen Dank möchte ich Mareike Teichmann , meiner Editorin beim Springer Gabler Verlag, aussprechen, die mir letzte Woche mein Manuskript genehmigte. Durch ihre Unterstützung ist mein Traum wahr geworden, ein Buch über Didaktik und Methodik zu schreiben.

Außerdem danke ich Prof. Dr. Werner Sauter für das Geleitwort; es ist eine Ehre, dass er sich bereit erklärte, dies zu übernehmen.

Mein Dank gilt auch meinen Arbeitgebern, bei denen ich lernen und meine Trainerpersönlichkeit entwickeln sowie unter Beweis stellen durfte. Besonders lehrreich war meine Erfahrung im Bereich Großgruppengestaltung mit den Firmen Orthomol pharmazeutische Vertriebs GmbH, The Janssen Pharmaceutical Companies of Johnson & Johnson, Novartis Deutschland und E. Breuninger.

Finding Inner Peace: A Reflection

This quote comes from François de La Rochefoucauld: “If you do not find peace within yourself, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.”

What is inner peace, really? It’s a state where we feel at ease, reconciled, relaxed, and content with ourselves. In this state, we are free from external conflicts and any internal struggles. We feel clear and centered, remaining calm in all situations, even the most stressful ones.

This balance is cultivated through mindfulness—living consciously in the moment—and self-reflection, which involves understanding who we are and how we feel. It’s a form of self-leadership, being aware of our emotions, recognizing the patterns of interpretation we follow, and understanding the beliefs that may hold us captive.

Inner peace emerges from within through self-acceptance and, in my view, cannot be compared to the experience of flow, which is tied to an activity. Flow, as defined by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, occurs when we engage in a task to the point of losing track of time and space, where work feels effortless. While both experiences yield satisfaction, inner peace is independent of any activity—it emphasizes equilibrium and serenity. Simply existing is enough to feel this peace, accompanied by the affirmation: “I am at peace with myself and the world. I am exactly as I should be.”

Importantly, inner peace is not about ignorance or egocentrism; it’s about accepting our true selves. For some, discovering this peace may come more easily through activities, but fundamentally, it is a mindset regarding oneself.

I find my inner peace most readily during long walks with my dog, Lotte, without music or a phone—just the path, Lotte, and me. Meditation and mindfulness exercises are also effective methods. However, everyone has their own way of igniting this inner peace, and it’s crucial not to confuse it with the flow experience.

Inner peace can only arise from within.

It’s like a bud that lies dormant in each of us; everyone has the potential to attain inner peace. It is up to each individual whether that bud will ever bloom. In my opinion, inner peace is the foundation for flourishing as our true selves, providing the opportunity to discover talents that cannot be unearthed without it. Without inner peace, we may find ourselves swayed by the opinions of others, still unsure of who we truly are.

Discovering our inner peace means allowing ourselves to be who we are. It’s certainly worth the effort. Let’s embark on this journey together; who knows what wonderful aspects of ourselves we may uncover?

The Vital Role of Anger: Understanding and Harnessing Its Power

„Never act in haste out of anger – you have enough time.“ — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anger is often viewed as a negative emotion. In professional settings, it is frowned upon, much like many other emotions. From my experience, joy is perhaps the only fundamental emotion that is somewhat acceptable in the workplace, although it is often expressed cautiously. According to Paul Ekman, the basic emotions include joy, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, anger, and contempt. https://www.neverest.at/blog/7-grundemotionen-paul-ekman/

However, anger is anything but unnecessary. It is a crucial emotion that support us in following:

  1. Indication of Injustice: Anger reveals that the person feels wronged and highlights injustices that need to be addressed.

  2. Motivation for Change: Anger encourages us to step out of our comfort zones, set new boundaries, and advocate for ourselves actively.

  3. Self-Protection: Anger helps us recognize underlying feelings and protects us from falling into a cycle of sadness or self-pity.

  4. Enhanced Self-Reflection: Anger highlights where we have been hurt and prompts us to reflect on past experiences.

  5. Catalyst for Communication: Anger drives us to discuss issues that have caused us pain. It often serves as a prompt to resolve conflicts or uncover misunderstandings.

  6. Source of Energy: Unlike sadness, anger provides us with energy and strength, enabling us to tackle and overcome new challenges.

  7. Emotional Processing: Anger aids in processing emotions, including fear and sadness, contributing to healing our wounds. https://www.geo.de/magazine/geo-kompakt/15270-rtkl-psychologie-heilsamer-zorn-ueber-die-wut-und-ihre-positiven

Like all emotions, anger holds significant and positive meaning. The key is to recognize anger and use it constructively. This emotion can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and even bring about a positive change in society.

Suppressing or denying anger is detrimental, as the aggressive energy it generates must go somewhere. If it is not expressed outwardly, it turns inward, potentially leading to depression or other psychosomatic disorders, according to scientists.

On the other hand, blind anger can be destructive. Emerson is not against anger; rather, he views it as a driving force that must be released gradually. It’s akin to a pressure cooker: when the contents (anger) boil, the pressure must be released slowly. If I were to open the lid suddenly, the contents would splatter against the walls and ceiling.

Treat anger like the process of opening a pressure cooker.

The Importance of Spending Time with Yourself: A Journey to Self-Love

„Spend some time with yourself every day.“ — Dalai Lama

This quote resonates deeply with me. Someone once told me that you are the most important person in your own life, a sentiment attributed to Martin Luther. Back in high school, I thought it sounded quite self-absorbed and even egocentric. During my university years, I frequently discussed a similar phrase with my roommates: „Love your neighbor as yourself“ (Mark 12:31). Some focused on „love your neighbor,“ but I believe the emphasis lies on „as yourself.“

To me, the crucial point is in that second part. You can only love another person as much as you have learned to love yourself. After all, where can love come from if you aren’t treating yourself with kindness? Is it possible that we confuse love with simply wanting to please others or feeling we must earn our partner’s affection? Only when we appreciate and accept ourselves as we truly are can we allow others to value us without needing any justification—just by being ourselves.

Achieving this self-acceptance and appreciation requires time for self-discovery. We need to understand how and why we react the way we do. Engaging with ourselves means looking into the darker aspects of our self and daring to reflect, even through discomfort.

A helpful concept for learning self-love is the Appreciation Pyramid by Prof. Dr. Reinhard Haller, which consists of seven levels:

  1. Awareness: Ask yourself, „How am I feeling right now? What’s happening within me?“

  2. Mindfulness: Focus on your thoughts. „Where are my thoughts? How can I bring them to the present moment, since only the now can be changed?“

  3. Respect: Consider how you treat your soul and body. „Do I respect my own boundaries?“

  4. Recognition: Reflect on your achievements. „What did I accomplish today? What went well?“

  5. Appreciation: Think about your positive interactions. „How did I behave positively today? Where did I make a difference?“

  6. Trust: This level is a natural outcome of the previous steps—trusting your abilities and knowing how to respond in different situations.

  7. Self-love: This is the culmination of all the previous levels.

How can you reach all this states? The answer is simple: spend time with yourself.