Monat: Januar 2024

Being alive means omnipotence

The quote of the week from my calendar comes from the Emily Dickinson quote: „To be alive is power; existence in itself; without a further function; omnipotence.“

This is a fantastic quote to ponder:

  • Who am I?

  • Who do I want to be?

  • How am I perceived?

  • How do I define myself?

  • What is really important to me?

  • What will my family and friends remember?

Other thoughts might be more holistic:

  • Does all the status and power that people strive for, sometimes even at the expense of others, lead to a truer life?

  • Does such behaviour or pursuit of power create trust or a better relationship with each other?

If you agree with the last two statements, in my eyes that would reduce your life to your own perspective, which makes your life, from my experience less enriching.

It isn’t simply being in the here and now (mindfulness) even more valuable and listen to the wisdom of others? Listening with curiosity and being fully present with the other person is very enriching and usually leads to unique solutions and creates a colourful and rich live.

The listener is then there for the other person without pursuing a goal themselves, i.e. without any other purpose. Listening intensively to another person without pursuing your own goals, contributing your own ideas or contributing your own experiences and solutions is an intensely active process. It requires a lot of concentration and personal control, but it also harbours many treasures and is enormously enriching, as listening to others opens up new perspectives for you and enriches your own life.

In my opinion, having more courage to be quiet and, as far as possible, detached from one’s own thoughts about one’s own advantage would significantly improve co-operation.

Change is a challenge

My weekly calendar this week has a quote from

Percy Bysshe Shelly (*1792- Ɨ1822):

„The path of its departure still is free: Man’s yesterday may ne’er be like his morrow; Nought may endure but Mutability.“

Surely everyone knows these or similar statements, such as: „Nothing is more constant than change“. We often don’t realise how much everything around us is changing. Our day is largely made up of routines and recurring experiences. For example, many of us get up at the same time every day, start our day with coffee or tea, and so on. But it is never the same. There’s always something different, even if it’s the weather. We plan day by day and then something unforeseen happens and we might just change the daily routine a bit. We are used to all these small changes and can cope with them.

But what about big changes? Every change creates a little crisis. The processes we have learnt and used successfully in the past no longer produce the desired results or are simply no longer wanted. Change is always about stress and individual coping strategies.

Each change has a different impact on each individual. Change is and never has the same effect on an individual level.

With this sudden crisis weh ave to deal on an individual stage. Adviced are often not supportive as they are successful fort he advice giver but not for our own reality and live.

The only similarity is , that to acept and overcome change, we go all through four phases:

  1. Shock
  2. Reaction to the shock
  3. Processing with acceptance and finding solutions
  4. Reorienting ourselves and our environment

The phases are not chronological, they can occur simultaneously or they can repeat themselves, forming loops until a real solution is found.

Yes, change is the only thing that will always and everywhere be there, the question is what strategies we develop to move through the four phases successfully and effectively.

Speed is certainly not the measure for overcome change, but rather to find and follow our personal path that suits us.

Reflection: Value of things

This week, I found a quote from Moliere in my desk calendar: „Things are only worth what you make of them.“

In parallel, my son has been learning about the Incas and the Spanish conquistador.

Historical background Destruction of the Inca Empire:

The monk Victor Valverde beginning the 16th century held a cross in his left hand and a Bible in his right. He approached Atahualpa, the king of the Incas, and asked him to submit. He explained that he wanted to proclaim the one true faith to him and all his „pagan“ people. Atahualpa also learnt from this monk about the Pope in faraway Rome, as God on earth. This pope, Valverde continued, had granted the Spanish king the right to rule the Americas and the peoples who inhabited them. Atahualpa rejected this and wished to remain in his faith.

The Bible given by Valverde. As the Incas found it incomprehensible and useless, Atahualpa angrily threw the Holy Scriptures of the Europeans at the monk’s feet. The Spaniards had achieved what they had set out to do. Valverde signalled the attack by saying: „Kill the heathen dogs, these godless Indians!“

The end of the Incas came only because of a different perspective of the worth of a book. Of neutrally observed, the Bible is a bunch of written papers, in this case put together around with leather. For the Spanish it was a holy sacrament, but for the Incas it was just paper of one, who wanted to under-rule them.

It’s like a loved teddy bear. To the owner it may be the most precious thing in the world, but to an outsider it’s just cloth and wool.

Value is only a matter of perspective, so we should be open to the perspectives of others.

What do you think?

Value of emptiness

Imagine that all the cups in your cupboard are already full. Each cup represents a specific drink. Whenever you take out the long, red cup, it contains grape juice. The long, red cup is conditioned with the taste of grape juice.

Imagine the same experience happening from year to year. One day, someone mixes in grapefruit juice. Do you think you would be able to taste it?

If you believe the conditioning, this will not happen. You will taste grape juice again and not the mixture of grape- and grapefruit juice. It will be the same as always. Your brain will not notice the slight difference.

Something similar happens to people. They always seem to be the same. What is forgotten is that every person develops, learns, begins to think and act regarding to different perspectives, and forgets others behaviours or thoughts. If we are allowed to accompany a person for a longer period, we notice the changes less. If we don’t see this person for a long time and meet the person again, we expect to meet the same person as we know from „before“. We look for behaviours that are very familiar to us to confirm that it is still the same as „before“. We overlook the grapefruit note, as the person may have aged but is not the same.

To recognize the grapefruit, mindfulness is a good solution. This means just being in the moment, without judgment or interpretation.

According to Bruce Lee: “ In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all of your preconceived fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful? Because it is empty.“ (Bruce Lee, John Little: Bruce Lee´s Striking Thoughts, Wisdom for daily living; Publisher Tuttle; 20002, s. 30)

In this way you also have the freedom to pour wine into the cup. This enriches your experience and the joy of diversity.

Orientation in the jungle of the finance and insurance market

The financial and insurance market is a field of its own, and nowadays you have to be an expert in it. That’s why many people look for an external expert to give them a honest recommendation tailored to their needs and goals.  Unfortunately, however, there are also advisors in this field who are more interested in a high acquisition premium than long-term customer support and care.

The interesting thing is that we are all a little biased as the finance and insurance market is often seen as a domain for men and not women. There are only 6% women in senior positions in the finance industry. Women are paid 23% less than men, the normal difference is 18% as measured in 2020 by the Federal Office Germany (Ist die Finanzbranche bis heute eine Männerdomäne? I Plutos). That’s why I think we can make a difference and find a female financial and insurance advisor.

In my past, I had a few male financial and insurance advisors, who gave me advice, which I followed. But in the end it was more for their benefit and nobody was interested in a long-term collaboration, as I realised after signing the contract. I now worked with a female financial and insurance advisor Ann-Kathrin Pögl and her behaviour was completely different. She first tried to understand my goals and my overall financial situation and then made suggestions. When I had questions after I signed my contract, she was still patient and continues to help me beyond that. She continues to support me in all matters even after the contract has been signed and helps me to find solutions or revisits the existing insurance contracts with me. She is always looking for better personalised options for me and my family.  I have been working with her for almost 3 years and I am delighted with her honesty and balanced advice. I can only recommend her.

Maybe it’s time to overcome your bias and turn to a female financial advisor like Ann-Kathrin Pögl .