mindfulness – Food for thoughts

Serenity is wisdom

This week’s quote comes from James Allen: „Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.“

Serenity or calmness is a virtue for a reason. It is particularly difficult to be calm when you have a goal too much in mind, when you want more than you should, are allowed to do less than you could and foresee the end, which is highly likely to happen, and yet have to let it happen. Because everyone must and has the right to make their own experiences.

Serenity also means being in the moment, enjoying the seconds that we can only influence and understanding that the world does not belong to you, but that you have been given the gift of being a guest in order to grow and learn. But this also means that everyone can and should learn and grow at their own pace and on the path that they feel is right for them. Serenity means allowing this to happen and not trying to „pull the grass to make it grow faster“. Understanding that this is not possible and that every thing has and needs its time. Serenity is not factual knowledge, it comes from within and arises from our attitude, interpretation / thinking patterns and attitudes. For me, that is wisdom.

Our inner wealth

This week’s quote comes from Emil Cioran: „Our real wealth: the hours in which we have done nothing. They are what shape us, individualise us, distinguish us.“

I have discovered two possible interpretations of this quote, both of which go in a completely different direction.

The first interpretation I see is that our leisure time, which we don’t spend earning money, is crucial to how we develop. Do we just sit on the couch and let ourselves be entertained or are we active, learning a language, an instrument or going out into nature? Our experiences and adventures shape us and change us. This is how the difference in attitudes, interpretation patterns and attitudes arises. Perhaps this also has an influence on our prejudices and values, for example when we get to know other cultures and / or countries.

The second interpretation I see is that time shapes and changes us when we were simply in our thoughts, i.e. when we are doing nothing from the outside perspective. When we reflect on the day, our behaviour and, even more profoundly, our thoughts. In doing so, we become self-effective, self-aware and reconsider whether we have acted in accordance with our values and desires. We can also include our physical reactions in the reflection: How and what did I feel in the individual situations? How did my body feel? What did my body want to tell me in the situation? This reflection allows us to grow, as we can recognise and perceive a lot about ourselves. Through self-awareness, we can learn, grow and change. The main question is here what and not why, as why is seeking for quilt and is looking back. What is more future orientated and create opportunities (see research from Tasha Eurich).

My second interpretation is more of a mindfulness exercise that has been proven to help us develop. The development is different from that in my first interpretation of the quote. The above development leads to new or improved skills and abilities. The development below develops the mind and character.

Which interpretation do you choose?

Here are some links to meta-analysis of mindfulness:
– Frontiers | A meta-analysis of the association between mindfulness and motivation (frontiersin.org)
– A synthesis of meta-analyses of mindfulness-based interventi… : PAIN (lww.com)
– (4) (PDF) Meditation, Mindfulness, and Attention: a Meta-analysis (researchgate.net)
– (4) (PDF) Mindfulness as Attention Training: Meta-Analyses on the Links Between Attention Performance and Mindfulness Interventions, Long-Term Meditation Practice, and Trait Mindfulness (researchgate.net)

Good is the better perfect

In my diary this week was the following quote from John Steinbeck: „And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.“ This quote got me thinking for a longer time. What is perfect? Who decides whether someone is perfect? As we all construct the world, which means we all interpret situations according to our experiences and memories, everyone would understand something different by perfect.

For example, an apple is perfect for one person if it is flawless and green. For another, an apple is perfect if it has red cheeks and a third finds the apple perfect if it has small spots, as it is then organic and natural.

How can there be, or is there, objective perfection at all? Is it perfection when everything is organised and straightforward? Isn’t chaos, the dynamic, what we need to bring change? Perfection cannot exist, because it is subjective and certainly not dynamic and therefore enable no changes. Being perfect means standing still. As the definition of perfect lies in the eyes oft he observer, the self must adapt and change in such a way that the observer can recognise perfection. This means the price of perfection is to mirrow the expectation of others and not to be yourself.

In my opinion, the solution lies in the second part of the quote: „You can be good.“ Since it is not possible to be perfect without losing yourself, each of us can try to be our own better self. The perfect lies hidden in the imperfect within ourselves. What we can do is to give our best every day by being mindful in the moment and always trying to activate the good that lies within each of us in the here and now. We can always dare and try to be the best and good version of ourselves. This requires a lot of courage, because the authentic self is much more vulnerable than an artificial self that changes in order to meet and fulfil the demands of the other person. So that the other person can recognise the perfect self that they have defined.

We should agree that being good is better and more dynamic than being perfect and is therefore much more promising for our self and our own growth.

What is your opinion?

Accept the now as your reality

My calendar quote for this week was „Be present in everything you do, because the only reality is now.“ (Wisdom from Zen Buddhism)

I really like this quote. The past is unchangeable, the more time passes, the sooner we will re-evaluate and interpret it in a more positive way. But the facts will remain the same. The personal past is a bit paradoxical, as the older it gets, the more beautiful it seems to us.

The future lies ahead of us, it is covered by curtains. We guess what may come, but we can never be sure, if and how it will and could really happen. Maybe it’s similar to a mirage, we’re working towards something, but maybe it disappears before we reach it completely, or it remains. We have to take care of the future, but we will never live in exactly the future we had planned.

What remains is now. That’s why it’s important to take full advantage of the moment, who knows how many „now“ each of us still have and can fully enjoy.

This becomes particularly clear to you when you lie in bed with a high fever and either doze or sleep the whole day and night, in this way you will lose the sense of time. Then it blurs now and you can’t be present at all. Time is then like jelly, it drags, the now becomes sand and glides through your fingers. To be present, the now should be like clay, something with which you can be active and do something good for others and yourself.

Do you use the now like clay or more like sand?

Value of emptiness

Imagine that all the cups in your cupboard are already full. Each cup represents a specific drink. Whenever you take out the long, red cup, it contains grape juice. The long, red cup is conditioned with the taste of grape juice.

Imagine the same experience happening from year to year. One day, someone mixes in grapefruit juice. Do you think you would be able to taste it?

If you believe the conditioning, this will not happen. You will taste grape juice again and not the mixture of grape- and grapefruit juice. It will be the same as always. Your brain will not notice the slight difference.

Something similar happens to people. They always seem to be the same. What is forgotten is that every person develops, learns, begins to think and act regarding to different perspectives, and forgets others behaviours or thoughts. If we are allowed to accompany a person for a longer period, we notice the changes less. If we don’t see this person for a long time and meet the person again, we expect to meet the same person as we know from „before“. We look for behaviours that are very familiar to us to confirm that it is still the same as „before“. We overlook the grapefruit note, as the person may have aged but is not the same.

To recognize the grapefruit, mindfulness is a good solution. This means just being in the moment, without judgment or interpretation.

According to Bruce Lee: “ In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all of your preconceived fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful? Because it is empty.“ (Bruce Lee, John Little: Bruce Lee´s Striking Thoughts, Wisdom for daily living; Publisher Tuttle; 20002, s. 30)

In this way you also have the freedom to pour wine into the cup. This enriches your experience and the joy of diversity.

Mindful or mind full

The definition of mindfulness from Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of it, is:

”Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non judgmentally; knowing what you are doing while you are doing.”

During vacation it´s easier to be mindful with our selves.

We relax and calm down (e.g. enjoying the sun)
We are more curious and try to discover new things (e.g. visiting museums)
We are more present (e.g. hiking in the nature)
We are open for new perspectives (e.g. travelling to new districts / counties)

This effect we can reinforce, through:

Try something new
Get out from behind the camera – be present
Play
Practice gratitude every single day
Do less
Enjoy process, not just the outcome
Step away from electronics
Take the opportunity to really connect with others
Spend some time alone

I´m curious to learn from you:

What are you doing during your tome off to relax and calm down?

How do you practice mindfulness during your vacation?

What are your secrets and recommendation to come relaxed back from vacation to work?

How to show appreciation, our quiet power?

Appreciation of a person is always focusing on personal behavior. It has nothing to do with performance or success. Appreciation is close looking at the individual nature character in each of us. Appreciation only works when other elements of the interaction are already done.

You need to have shown attention for the whole situation where the person you want to appreciate is in;
This only works when you are in the moment and mindful in the situation.
Towards the individuum to show respect and personal attention is needed.
Then acknowledgement for the performance or success, which mean for the results of the behavior is needed.
Only with this previous elements appreciation will work, as the appreciation taker find the apprechiative words natural and creates not the feeling that the apprechiation is used for the sace of a (hidden) goal.

(inspired by: Das Wunder der Wertschätzung from Dr. Reinhard Haller)

Appreciation does not need grand gestures or materialistic things. Like wild-flowers, appreciation is fragile and small, but strong. They need only a few nutrients, to develop to the whole power. Wild-flowers can penetrate and destroy concrete. Honest and genuine appreciation can have a similar effect and create a blossom relationships, which leads to trust.

How do I show appreciation in everyday life?

Appreciative look at eye level.
Interested listening.
Benevolent nod of the head.
Sympathetic smile.
Discreet pat on the back.
Curious question.
Small surprise.
Short e-mail with thanks or congratulations.
Request for advice.

What are your little things you show your appreciation to people surrounding you?