The quote of the week comes from Theodor W. Adorno and says: ‘You are only loved where you are allowed to show yourself weak without provoking strength.’
I find this quote very fascinating, and it got me thinking. Love should be unconditional, free and nurturing. Love is not only the love in a relationship, to the ‘love partner’, but also to children, to other people, if you look at it more broadly, to all those who support us and are entrusted to us. Being loved can perhaps be equated, at least for this quote, with being recognised, respected and valued, with one’s whole personality.
If you relate this quote to the professional context, it could represent the relationship between superiors and employees. This is a fantastic indicator, whether you have a real team or only a group with individuals and ego driven behaviour.
As a manager, the tendency to lead people is to be a servant leader. This means that as a manager, employees are empowered to take responsibility for the tasks assigned to them in a self-organised and independent manner. To this leadership style belong a mistake culture and learning culture from things which are not perfect. It’s the way to lead as human with emotions strength and learning fields.
Being courageous as a manager means showing ´weaknesses´ the own learning fields, for example showing emotions such as concern, admitting `weaknesses` in some task the employee has to or having a bad memory for specific things or not knowing something and making mistakes. In such moments, the manager shows that he / she is a human being.
If the manager is accepted, the team will see such behaviour as a strength and show the manager understanding. In this case you have a real team working with respect, loyalty, acceptance and role understanding. They interact in an eco driven way and not ego driven.
In a team that does not tolerate the manager or a team member informally claims the position of power, the manager’s ´weakness´ or emotional behaviour is exploited. Mistakes are blown out of proportion, emotions are over-interpreted, or mistakes or other issues are made fun of – not directly, of course, but rather indirectly.
That would be a provocation of strength. To turn human sides and thus ‘weakness’ against the person, who has shown it.
If this provocation happens, it’s time to work on acceptance within the team, address the issue openly and demand the respect that everyone deserves. In such team, it will be necessary to work on trust and role responsibility.
